Sunday, July 20, 2008

Fiddling on the Blog - a new Tradition!

Fiddling on the Blog! Sounds crazy, no?

Well, you may say that here in our little village of Bitulzmahnia everybody is "Fiddling on the Blog". Trying to eke out a simple controversial post without the whole world breathing down our necks!
You may ask - how can one keep his balance on a blog without transgressing 14 assehs and 17 lavvim?
I'll tell you, it isn't easy!
You may ask - so why do we stay and live in Bitulzmahnia?
That, I can answer in one word - EGOMANIA!!

A-ha-ya-ya-ya-ya. Ya-ya-da-da-da-da - Egomania!
A-ha-ya-ya-ya-ya. Ya-ya-da-da-da-da - Egomania!

Here in Bitulzmahnia we have egomaniacs of all types: we have the know-it-alls, the self-righteous, the preachers. We also have the apologists, the critics, and the peacemakers. And of course we have the frummies, the kofrim, and the mushchasim. And together we form one big happy cyberfamily. The tzad hashava is that everybody has much too much time on their hands and will waste it on anything except Torah, Avoda, and Gmilus Chassadim.
To be sure, we sometime have our differences like -is that Rav an MO or Chareidi? But we can usually settle these issues conclusively in 100 insults or less.
He's Mo - He's Chareidi - He's MO --He's Chareidi --MO--Chareidi--MO--Chareidi.


Of course, we have our special types, such as Yenta the Megillah-writer who cannot post a comment in less than 2000 words. And, the great sage, the Blog-owner:

Poster: O, invincible Blog-owner, how do you rid your blog of malicious posts?
Blog-owner: I spray it with posticides!


And not to forget Nachum the Blogger:

Nachum: You are absolutely wrong and you don't know the first thing about this issue.
Moderator: Nachum, you say the same thing every week.
Nachum: So if you are an am -haaretz why shouldn't I be the one to let everyone know?

Of course, not everybody is a straight-arrow. There is also his (dis)honor the Lurker, his (dis)honor the Troll, his (dis)honor Anonymous and his (dis)honor many others. They form a much larger cybercircle. But, we moderate them and (some of the time) -they don't bother us.

You may ask - when did this egomania get started?

I'll tell you - I don't know. But we've been at it for as long as we can remember.

But I can tell you this: Without our EGOMANIA life would be as meaningless as-- as--as---
one who fiddles on the blogs!!!


1a7b said...

great book! great blog! can't wait until part 2

Freelance Kiruv Maniac said...

This satire is priceless!