From the River to the Sea – Which River? Which Sea? – Comforting Words from our Worst Enemy

 

 

I don’t need to tell anyone that we are living in very precarious times. Thousands upon thousands of clueless goyim in the “Western” world are marching through the cities and universities chanting their ditty:

 

From the river to the sea, 

Palestine will be free!

 

These people are so brainwashed and clueless that if they are asked – as many have been: “Which river and which sea?”, they cannot give a straight answer. Some have no idea, others can make educated guesses, and a few of them may actually know.

What they don’t know is that they did not originate this term. As is true about numerous social constructs as well as about our sovereignty over the lands in “dispute”, we were there first.

A quick look at the Word of G-d in last week’s parsha – Parshat Mishpatim (Shmos 23:31) tells us how this is all going to end:

וְשַׁתִּי אֶת גְּבֻלְךָ מִיַּם סוּף וְעַד יָם פְּלִשְׁתִּים וּמִמִּדְבָּר עַד הַנָּהָר כִּי אֶתֵּן בְּיֶדְכֶם אֵת יֹשְׁבֵי הָאָרֶץ וְגֵרַשְׁתָּמוֹ מִפָּנֶיךָ.

 

And I will set your border from the Reed Sea until the Philistine Sea (i.e., Gaza strip) and from the desert (in the South) to the river (in the North) as I will deliver into your hands the inhabitants of the land, and you will expel them from your presence.

 

Yep, Greater Israel. We get more than just one sea. And the river being discussed, according to Rashi and others, is none other than the Euphrates river currently in Iraq. That’s quite a chunk of real estate for our tiny nation.

That’s the plan. It isn’t our plan, it is G-d’s plan.

And He is talking to us.

And you can be sure that it’s going to happen.

Who tells us so?

Our very worst enemy.

That’s right. A man named Bilaam ben Beor, a scion of the notorious Lavan HaArami. One of the biggest and smartest sons of a hot she-ass (Cham-ass) that ever limped the earth. Nobody hated us and wished us doom more than him (though plenty others came close). In Bamidbar 23:19 he tells us:

 

לֹא אִישׁ אֵל וִיכַזֵּב וּבֶן אָדָם וְיִתְנֶחָם הַהוּא אָמַר וְלֹא יַעֲשֶׂה וְדִבֶּר וְלֹא יְקִימֶנָּה.

 

G-d (the Jew-Allah) is not a man that would be untrue nor a human who would change his mind. Is there something He would utter and not execute? Something He would speak and not fulfill?

So, here we have what really will happen from the River[s] to the Sea[s]. And it will happen soon, IYH. The only thing is that we need to be worthy to see it all happen.

So, it’s a good idea for all of us (myself included) to clean up our act and get as close to the Great Jew-Allah as possible. For those of you who still live in the decadent Western world, try to get over here as soon as you can. Don’t miss the last plane boat paraglider.

Don’t worry about where you are going to live – there will be plenty of real estate - From the river to the sea.

Mishenichnas ADAR Marbim b’… Rechilus?

Contents of this post have been removed as part of a legal settlement.

For more details about this, please see this post:

The Segulah of Rabi Matya ben Charash - A Testimonial

For the most current updates on the story:

Four Horsemen of the Kol Koreh 3 - The Malka Leifer Debacle

The Malka Leifer Verdict - Guilty! ...or Not?

Related post:

Arrur Makkah Re'eihu B'Seter

Megillas Estheroid

The following is the insert that we put into our Mishloach Manos for Purim 5776. A Freilichin Purim!

Yechezkel and Family

Megillas Estheroid

According to many opinions, this is the time of [3600] year[s] that we should be reading Megillas Estheroid.  This Megillah was discovered very recently and translated from the Sumerian cuneiform by HaKofer Harav Zecharia Sitchin, Alav Hacheshbon, also known as the Chozeh Kochavim M’Lundin and the mechaber sefer Planet Shteim Esreh – Mi Yodeah. (Also the inventor of the “Sitchin Comet-T”).

According to Reb Zecharia, A”H, there is an additional planet in the solar system which he calls the 12^th planet with about seven moons. He says that the ancient Sumerians called it “Niburu”. Others call it “Planet X” in reference to the tenth planet (after Pluto) and some call it Planet IX (Nine) since Pluto was downgraded from a planet to a Disney cartoon character. Even others call it Planet 7X (just to be different, I guess). Some call it the “Dark star”. Some call it a star, some call it a planet, some call it a comet and some call it an asteroid. Whatever it is, this heavenly body is supposed to have a mass ten times that of planet Earth.

It supposed to be just now circling the sun and is right next to it which makes it all but impossible to see with the naked eye. It doesn’t come out at night.

This planet does not orbit in a circle like the rest of the planets but rather in an elliptical (egg shaped) orbit and it takes about 3600 years to pass near our planet Earth. The Orbital ring is full of asteroids and meteors and also leaves a trail of breath mints.

When it does pass near Earth, its tremendous gravitational pull will cause havoc on Earth. There will be heightened seismic and volcanic activity (earthquakes and eruptions), polar shifts and meltdowns which will raise the sea levels and tsunamis.  Not the best time to vacation in Hawaii!

It is also predicted that when this “Dark star” passes between the Earth and the sun, it will cause a prolonged eclipse with EMP failures that will put us in a state of darkness (Makkas Choshech) and purify us from the Internet. Some say this will last three days, some say 2 weeks and the Zohar says 40 days. Have plenty of extra candles around!

Finally we will have the privilege of viewing a magnificent meteor shower which will knock most of world – and the Azrieli towers - to smithereens. Put on your 3-D glasses!

This may all sound like science fiction except that there are references in no less than four places in the Zohar to a great star – with seven moons - that will come and cause wars and darkness! This will be HKBH’s instrument to seek vengeance upon the wicked of the Earth. The Zohar repeatedly references the pasuk stated by Bilaam in his Acharis Hayamim prophecy: דרך כוכב     מיעקב  – a great star will set a path from Yaakov – וקם שבט מישראל – a rod will arise from Yisroel. This is taken as a reference to what we call a כוכב שביט  - a Comet!

Hence, many want to claim that Niburu was also the instrument to bring about the Great Flood (warning! - this is a X-tian source) in its previous orbit – although that was closer to 4100 years ago. This may explain why the Dor Haflaga tried to claim that after every set time interval – they claimed it was 1656 years – the sky collapses and destroys the Earth. Maybe they were only half-wrong!

There are also many references to this in Megillas Estheroid. For instance:

·         Nobody can really see it with the naked eye (yet). It is hidden – הסתיר אסתיר.

·         Nobody knows its real name or nationality.

·         Queen Estheroid says: לך כנוס את כל היהודים... וצומו עלי ואל יאכלו ואל ישתו שלשה ימים. This is a clear reference to the advice of the autistics who say that when this planet comes, all the Jews should go into their houses and lock themselves up for the three days (or two weeks) until it passes and do teshuva and daven to HKBH to be saved. If you don’t stock up some food you will definitely have to fast for three days and nights!

·         ונוח בארבעה עשר – A clear reference that this happened as well in the time of Noach!

·         וישם המלך ... מס על הארץ ואיי הים – This means that the planet will have a tremendous mass that will cause earthquakes on land and tsunamis in the sea.

·         And finally – Mordechai is called מור דרור which has a targum of מרי דכי . The second word  דכ"י stands for  דרך כוכב מ-יעקב!

When is all this supposed to happen? In the end of days!

According to our autistic brethren and Rav Michael Glazerson, this is sometime in 5776. According op Reb Zecharia, A”H, the Earth should begin to cross the Orbital path of Niburu starting on March 26, 2016.

That’s tomorrow (gulp)!

So, in order that we should be prepared for this momentous event, the Hirshman family has prepared for you a sumptuous Mishloach Manos that is out of this world. It contains:

·         A miniature rocket powered by solar grape juice (Bottle of Grape juice)

·         A bright orange clementine sun – with real sun spots! (Tangerine)

·         A miniature (candy) comet – Kochav Shavit (Lollipop)

·         Dark Star cookies (Cookies)

·         Moon-cakes (Cupcakes with candy stras on it)

·         The Orbit trail of breath mints (Orbit Breath Mints)

·         Star-kissed tsunami salad (Starkist Tuna Salad)

·         A detailed map of the solar system (A napkin with stars, planets and spaceships on it)

·         Igerret HaKochav with some of the fascinating references from the Navi and Zohar.

May we all be zocheh to see the Ohr Haganuz, בב"א.

ליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה וששון ויקר.

א פרייליכען פורים

Golden Oldies - Parshat Balak/Pinchas

I haven't written in a bit. Some readers are starting to forget that I exist (which may actually be the case). Let's chalk it up to an extended visit to the real world. I am still too preoccupied to write new material but I do want to present some of the Golden Oldies from the first months of this blog back in 2008 (anybody remember those days?).

In the old days, I used to do what I called a Parsha Challenge. I would first present a puzzling issue from the Parsha - something that the classical meforshim seem to have overlooked - and a few days later I presented a proposed solution.

Now the link between Parshat Balak and Parshat Pinchas is the terrible debacle at Shittim where many of our ancestors (or our ancestors kin) met their end. Exactly how many were indeed executed during the episode?

The question was asked in this post:

http://achaslmaala.blogspot.com/2008/08/leftovers-from-yechezkels-shabbos-table.html

and, 3 days later, the solution was presented in this one:

http://achaslmaala.blogspot.com/2008/08/cleaning-up-leftovers-solution-to-last.html

Another fascinating discussion that centers in Parshat Pinchas was my discussion on TuM (it's not what you think!). Why on earth is this topic being discussed in this Parsha? This was the first Parsha Challenge that I ever posted in this blog. The problem was presented in this post:

http://achaslmaala.blogspot.com/2008/07/delicacies-from-yechezkels-shabbos.html

And the proposed solution was presented here:

http://achaslmaala.blogspot.com/2008/07/shabbos-table-follow-up.html

I do have some material for some up-to-date posts but it is very hard to find the time to write them up. In the meanwhile, have a great Shabbos!

Fresh for Shabbos: Follow up on Nationality of Ruth

It is time to solve the puzzle about Ruth's nationality. First, let us briefly review the issue:

• Rashi in BaMidbar (22:4) quotes a Midrash Tanchuma that claims that Balak was actually Midyani.
• Talmud Bavli (Sotah 47a, etc.) maintains that Balak was a direct ancestor of Ruth and two places indicate the ancestry to be directly patrilineal.
• In Yevamos 78b and Rambam (Hilchos Issurei Biah 12:21) it is ruled that for non-Jews, nationhood is determined by patrilineal ancestry.
• Therefore, Ruth is actually Midyani and not Moavi.

Q.E.D.

Before we go on, let us discuss what exactly may be the ramifications of this astounding revelation. There are two major ones. The first of which I noted in my initial post:
If Ruth is not actually Moavi, there is no need for a controversy during the time of Boaz and again when Doeg HaAdomi challenged Dovid's legitimacy (TB Yevamos 76b).
Let's call this Axiom A.

There is a second ramification that I consciously omitted:
Chazal explicitly link Dovid's and Ruth's pedigree to Lot (Bava Kamma 38b; Midrash Rabba Breishis 41, 50). If Ruth is actually a Midyani and not Moavi, then there is no true blood line up to Lot.
Let's call this Axiom B.

There is one other issue that I wish to posit:
We chareidim are very respectful of Chazal and take their words very seriously and literally as Chazal themselves do (see Sanhedrin 69b and Ben Ish Chai on Zevachim 113b). We always consider the words of Chazal to be accepted as factual – especially when they do not involve supernatural aspects – unless we are forced to view them otherwise.
Let's call this Axiom C.

As a supplement to Axiom C, we very much prefer not to have to modify or update the words of Chazal with details that are not explicitly implied in the text.
Let us call this Axiom D.

With this in mind, we can examine possible approaches to this issue and their impact on our list of axioms. There are a number of possible approaches. However – each one comes at a price.

To my dismay, only one reader cared to suggest approaches to this issue. A studious fellow who identified himself as Josh Waxman which I will assume to be his true name. Reb Josh suggested 2 approaches and then commented that I may have better ones. To R' Josh I say: I wish I did.

His first suggestion was that the Midrash Tanchuma and Talmud Bavli are two unrelated perspectives that are not meant to harmonize.

In other words, the Talmud Bavli that says that Ruth descended from Balak does not mention anywhere that Balak is a prince of Midyan. As such, TB can hold that Balak was a pure blooded Moavi and we have no issue. Likewise, the Midrash Tanchuma that says that Balak was a Midyanite does not suggest that he was an ancestor of Ruth or of Eglon. Eglon, not being Balak's descendant, would have been a true blooded Moavi. So each one can stand on its own podium but cannot harmonize with the other.

With this approach, Axioms A, B, and D are not impaired but Axiom C - the literal veracity of Chazal - is severely compromised since we cannot view both of the maamarei Chazal to be factual.

I believe that this is the most logical approach and it is the one that I personally support. To sacrifice Axiom C is a bitter pill to swallow but we are forced to go this route on other occasions as well. There are numerous cases of conflicting Midrashim even in Talmud Bavli itself such as the gemara in Sanhedrin 106b that suggests that Bilaam HaRasha, who died in the year 2488, never reached the age of 35. This would be in clear contradiction of the Chazal that he was one of Pharaoh's advisers before Moshe's birth 120 years earlier – as pointed out in Rashi (Sanhedrin 106b s.v. Bar Tlasin) – and also of the Chazal in Zevachim (116a) that says that Bilaam was a world leader at the time of Mattan Torah in 2448.

At this point I will say that I am much taken aback that I have found almost no authorities who deal with this question at all. In all my searches, I have found two unlikely heroes. Neither of them is prepared to go with Reb Josh's first approach and to sacrifice Axiom C.

The first of these two heroes is the Mahari"t on Masechet Kiddushin (67a) which I found quoted in a sefer entitled Mishbitzos Zahav on Megillat Ruth by Rav Shabsi Weiss (hat tip: Rabbi Dovid Solomon). The Mahari"t that he quotes poses the question exactly as I wrote it in my original post and answers the question exactly as Reb Josh Waxman writes in his second approach. This is that the decree of "Lo yavo Amoni…" applied no less to Balak himself regardless of his blood nationality, and so, the controversy was legitimate even if, technically, Ruth was a Midyanite.

This approach sustains Axioms A, C, and D but it does not repair the damage to Axiom B. Of course, we can artificially sustain Axiom B if we accept this approach and add to it that since the wives of Balak's descendants were most likely true Moavites, there is a blood line up to Lot even if not patrilineal. It is very "b'diavad" and is like saying that at least 50% of Kohanim can actually be called Midyanim since at least half of Kohanim descend from Elazar and his wife was a Midyanite. (Likewise all of humanity is descended from Kayin because Noach's wife was Kayin's descendant – Rashi Breishis 4:22 s.v. Naama).

The second authority that I found is the Piskei Tosafos at the back of Masechet Sotah (in the produce department). He addresses the passage in Sotah 47a that discusses Ruth's lineage. Curiously enough, there are no Tosafot on Sotah 47a nor in all of Perek Egla Arufa. In item 56, he states as follows:

Balak was from the princes of Midyan and his daughter married a Moavi. Ruth was a daughter's daughter to Eglon. As a reward for his rising from his throne, Ruth descended from him.

Thus, Piskei Tosafos solves the problem by modifying the context of Talmud Bavli to acknowledge that Balak was Midyani and that he begat Ruth BUT he posits that it was not pure patrilineal descent. Ruth did not emanate from his son but rather his daughter whose husband was Moavi.

Two things are clear from Piskei Tosafos: (1) He was definitely bothered by the problem – one of the very few and (2) he went to great lengths to avoid violating Axiom C. His approach will sustain Axioms A, B, and C very nicely but the price to pay is to modify the text of the Talmud from its literal context and thus to violate Axiom D. Perhaps, that is the smallest price to pay.

So, to sum up, we have discussed three approaches to our problem. Two are to be found in respected sources and these are the only written sources that I have found to date. What I intrigues me is that neither of these commentaries want to take the easy route (Approach #1) at the expense of Axiom C. To my knowledge, none of the great classical commentaries address this problem. This can mean one of two things:

• They did not notice it – (hard to believe - well, I did).
• They do not consider it an issue because they will accept Approach #1 and do not care to go to great pains to sustain the integrity of Axiom C - Axiom C is expendable.

Axiom C refers to the extent that we can rely on Chazal's explanations as being factual. This is one of the greatest debates of today.

Tishbi Yitaretz Kushyos U'sfekos