A young man was wrapping up a sit-in date when the shadchan popped in to see how things are going.
In a very low voice the suitor gave it to him straight:
She's crosseyed and pigeon-toed. She has a terrible lisp. Her hair is stringy. Her nose can hold two dollars worth of nickles. She can't remember my name. She barely made it through high school. She doesn't know how many days of Chanuka there are. I don't think she even took a shower...
The shadchan rejoins:
You don't have to whisper. She's deaf, too.
May all of the singles out there find their true barshets, b'karov.