Tuesday, August 25, 2009

HOW TO STAY SAFE IN THE WORLD TODAY

My friend Sruly just sent this to me in an email. It is one of the most important safety messages I have ever seen.

HOW TO STAY SAFE IN THE WORLD TODAY:

Avoid riding in automobiles because they are responsible for 20 % of all fatal accidents.

Do not stay at home because 17 percent of all accidents occur in the home. (that's 37 % already)

Avoid walking on streets or sidewalks because 14 percent of all accidents occur to pedestrians.(now that's 51%)

Avoid traveling by air, trains or buses, 16 percent of accidents involve these forms of transportation. (that's 67%)

Of the remaining 33 percent, 32 percent of all deaths occur in hospitals. Above all else avoid hospitals.

You will be pleased to learn that only 0.01 % of all deaths occur in a synagogue, and these are usually related to previous physical disorders. Therefore, logic tells us that the safest place for you to be at any given point in time is in Synagogue.

Torah Study is even safer. The number of deaths during Torah Study is too small to register.

For safety's sake, go to Shul as often as possible, and attend Torah Study.

It could save your life!

Author Unknown

6 comments:

joshwaxman said...

and what do you think of this joke once you consider the possibility, or likelihood that this was written about attending church and engaging in Bible study?

http://living4jesus.net/dynamic/fun.htm

kt,
josh

Yechezkel said...

You mean like the one about the shammas that couldn't read?

Of course, I would think the obvious - they must have stolen it from us! After all, most of what they have, even the Bible they talk about, was certainly stolen from us.

My question is why do you go through all the trouble to hunt these things down (or are you a subsciber to this site)?

Thanks, anyway.

Chezkel

P.S. This makes me think about the story of the woman who was toiveling to be a giyores. She asked the head Dayan if it's okay for her not to put her head all the way in because this is a special occasion for her and she just got her hair done. The dayan answered,"If you don't want to put your head under that's okay, but then you're still going to have a goyishe kup!"

joshwaxman said...

there are unfortunately too many "inspirational" stories that we take from them, where someone takes out "Yushke" and puts in "Ribbono shel Olam," and assumes that the values can and will translate. i can point out examples, if you like, where it is clear. (in this case, it is *not* so clear, except for it being several years earlier.)

hunting this down was not difficult, btw. since this is unfortunately so prevalent, it is the first step. it took me literally 5 seconds. i took some text from the story, put "church" in place of synagogue, and searched Google, and the many occurrences of this came up. that is "all the trouble"?

something to keep in mind for future email forwards, perhaps.
this was wasn't too bad.

Yechezkel said...

Okay.So the joke's on me :-)

joshwaxman said...

nah; it's just a pet peeve of mine...

good Shabbos,
josh

Anonymous said...

reminds me of "Footprints in the Sand" - I believe I found out it is a medrash????