Mesira XX?? - One Size does not Fit All

 

Ever since August 2015, one of the primary topics that I covered in my blog is the issue of child sexual abuse in the chareidi community. Initially, I had written that this is one topic I wanted to avoid, but once it became clear to me how misguided the general public is about this issue and the extent to which many of our religious leaders are misguiding us, I could not remain silent and allow all this misguidedness to continue unabated.

My personal experience dates to the mid-1980s when a pan[ic]-demic arose that later became known as the “Day Care Sex Abuse Hysteria of the 1980s.” You can check the links, but, in short, it was exactly what the name implies. Wild unfounded allegations emerged alleging horrific abuses taking place in nursery schools and child day care centers in the United States and then worldwide. The activists and prosecutors coined the motto: We believe the children.

Except they didn’t believe the children. When the children could not or would not provide any incriminating testimony, which was most of the time (we’re talking 2-6 year-olds), the prosecutors would gladly supply it for them and selflessly give them all the credit.

As a result, many innocent people were falsely convicted, lives and businesses ruined, and all that goes with it. Millions of taxpayer dollars were spent in these prosecutions, whereupon most of the convictions were eventually overturned costing taxpayers millions more. (And when they weren’t overturned, many innocent people sat in jail costing us millions more!) Worse, the public was not apprised of the faulty evidence and the overturned convictions never made the front-page news. As such, the public thought it was all real.

As so commonly happens, the maladies of the outside world penetrate into our Jewish one. I watched in horror to see similar unfounded accusations being brought against some very upstanding Jews who ran a private nursery school in Brooklyn. These were people who I knew very well.

I got to see how wild accusations were swallowed whole, more truthful information was suppressed or “explained away”, and people relied on “reliable sources” who couldn’t possibly know any real details. Rabbanim who should have known better or who could have investigated the facts either fell in with the frenzy or refused to “get involved”. We see all this from a flawed teshuva in Tzitz Eliezer from 1990 (19:52 - the flawed part is part 3).

In short, I learned how the “system” (read: Satan) works. This is what inspired my February 2016 post, Mesira IX.v: Adulterating the Truth, my June 2016 post, Mesira XII - Midas HaDin and part of my follow-up post (same month), Mesira XV:Victim Turned Predator.

So, let’s go back to August of 2015. This is when I launched my entire Mesira series which probably spans close to 50 posts by now - though I stopped numbering them. What happened in August of 2015?

August 2015 is the first time a very flawed Kol Koreh appeared in several Jewish publications, primarily Mishpacha magazine. Its purpose is to urge people who suspect child abuse to go straight to the secular authorities and not to bother with Rabbanim or anyone else. And this is all Kosher l”Mehadrin - and even a Torah obligation - with the blessing of however many rabbis (currently 200 or 183 depending if you know how to count).

In its time, I asserted that this Kol Koreh is deeply flawed, and I was very disturbed by it (still am).

Why is it flawed?

I invested numerous posts to explain how suspected (and even confirmed) child sexual abuse needs to be handled by the dictates of Halacha. The main overview of the problems was presented in this post:

Mesira VII: The Heter Meah Rabbanim - The Genie is Back

And I then went on to elaborate in these three posts:

Mesira VIII: Blood Labels

Mesira X.i: No Chochma, No Tevuna and No Eitza Against Hashem - 1st Segment: Chochma and Tevuna

Mesira X.ii: No Chochma, No Tevuna and No Eitza Against Hashem - 2nd Segment: Eitza and Conclusion

When the second version was printed in October 2016 and covered in Rab Dovid Lichtenstein’s Headlines podcast, I wrote:

Mesira XVII: Current Headlines and an Open Letter of Praise to Reb Dovid Lichtenstein

A little bit later, I summarized all the Halachos in this two-part series:

Mesira XVIII(a): A Concise Guide to the Laws of Mesira (1) - Mind Your “P”s and “C”s

Mesira XVIII(b): A Concise Guide to the Laws of Mesira (2) - Mind Your “P”s and “C”s

In the Mesira VII post, I complained about the dangerous implications about this Kol Koreh. I was taken aback that so many of today’s Rabbanim cannot see them (or refuse to). I also claimed that this is a vast departure of our traditional leadership and listed three giants of the past that I am convinced would never sign such a flawed document with the assumption that all gedolim of the past would feel the same way.

The three that were mentioned there are:

• Rav Moshe Feinstein, ZTL
  
  
• Chafetz Chaim
  
  
• Rambam

Later on, I added Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, ZTL who was also a giant but not from the past.

I spent four of the next five posts explaining why I am so certain. For the main conclusion, see Mesira X.ii.

Like, I wrote, I summarized it all in the two Mesira XVIII posts. To get the basic idea, we need to recap Mesira XVIII(a) and remind ourselves of the 3 Ps. What it says is that there are a number of steps that it is imperative to take before one goes to the extreme of reporting somebody to the authorities. Our goal is to protect people from harm and not to punish or re-harm the “harmers” when there is no need for it. As such, we first need to verify that it is not possible to achieve our goal with steps 1 and/or 2 before resorting to step 3 which is involving the authorities (i.e., police).

The 3 Ps are:

Proximity - Remove either the alleged offender or the alleged victim from the “theater of operation”.

Publicity - Alert the communities that there is a person who can be a danger.

Police - Involve law enforcement.

I explained at length in those posts (and others) that, as much we feel like skipping the formalities and going straight to “the chase”, we are forbidden to do it unless we are sure the first two steps won’t work. This is what we know from Rambam, Chafetz Chaim, Rav Moshe Feinstein, and a host of other sources. We also know it from evaluating the “real world” and from just plain common sense.

In short, going to law enforcement is a last resort, not a first resort. Anyone who rules otherwise will cause a lot of needless damage and will be responsible for it.

In my main overview post, before I launched on it, I spelled out in shorthand what is wrong with this Kol Koreh. Here is what I wrote:

A number of things struck me. I was a bit disturbed at the relative anonymity of the sponsors of the notice. But chiefly, what struck me was the crudeness of the letter, how indiscriminate it is, how it caters to a prevalent presumption of guilt and how it misrepresents Halacha.

I continued with my follow up posts throughout 2016 and early 2017 with the vain hope that word would get around and those who signed this thing will see the dark. And if this Kol Koreh ever appeared again, I hoped it would be re-written in a way that rectifies these flaws.

The Kol Koreh indeed reappeared in October 2016 (Mishpacha Sukkos Edition) exactly as originally written. It now had 108 signatures; three missing from the original and four new names added on, but no changes to the language. I noted all this in my Open Letter of Praise to Reb Dovid Lichtenstein. I also mentioned there how one signatory, Rav Ron Yitzchak Eisenman, made some puzzling remarks in the interview which controvert the purpose of the Kol Koreh text.

After the reappearance of the Kol Koreh in October of 2016, it wasn’t reprinted again and, so, it slipped off the radar screen. In any event, in mid-2016 the Malka Leifer episode became a headline issue in Eretz Israel due to the ruling of the Australian Supreme Court and the proliferation of several petitions to the public to appeal to the Israeli officials to expedite the forbidden extradition. As an Israeli resident (and no longer an American) my focus shifted to this. The Kol Koreh turned into dream stuff and faded away and I hoped it was gone forever.

To shield myself even more, I dropped my subscription to Mishpacha magazine. Okay, I’m just kidding. The real reason I dropped the subscription was that my financial situation became so tight that I needed to cut down on anything I could do without and Mishpacha magazine was a sure candidate. This caused a little strain on shalom bayis because my dear wife relies on some Shabbos reading material to keep her sanity and without it...(don’t ask).

So, I buckled under and sprang for the 5782 Gala Pesach edition (much cheaper than jewelry). As I glided through the copious advertisement pages (which is what makes it a gala issue) to find some actual journalistic material, there it was!

Yes, indeed, the 2015-16 Kol Koreh was back in 2022 worded exactly as it was in the original versions. There was no change in the primary text but there were several other changes - very noteworthy ones.

The first noteworthy change is that the organizer, aside from displaying the “updated” email address he displayed in 2016, was now brave enough to come out with his full name. He is Dovid J. Nyer, LCSW, a suburban Philadelphia based social worker. A little Googling revealed that Reb Dovid is currently about 36 years old which would make him merely 30 years old when the Kol Koreh first came out in 2015. He claims over 10 years of experience now which would be a whopping four years of experience back in 2015.

The reason I am noting this is that I have a great deal of respect for what Rav R. Y. Eisenman said in the November 2016 Headlines interview: “Each case is different and each case has its own complexities and nuances”. And I have no respect for the fact that despite this crucial, obvious, and indisputable fact, and despite the other prudent things he said, Rav Eisenman signed this one-size-fits-all Kol Koreh anyway.

Anyone with enough experience - as I have had since the 1980s - to recognize that “each case is different and each case has its own complexities and nuances” would not be so irresponsible to sign such a proclamation. From the start, it appeared to me that this Kol Koreh was formulated and promoted by very inexperienced people and most of those who signed it are no more experienced.Headlines interview:

In any case, this alleviated the problem I had that I was “a bit disturbed at the relative anonymity of the sponsors of the notice”. But, like I wrote, that was not the chief problem. The chief problem was, “the crudeness of the letter, how indiscriminate it is, how it caters to a prevalent presumption of guilt and how it misrepresents Halacha.” Sadly, all that is still there. Plus, a bit of deception.

The second noteworthy change is a look at the names. and here the deception begins.

This new version opens with the following line:

200 Rabbonim Urge Communties...

Okay, so now we are up to 200 Rabbonim instead of 108. But are we?

So I counted. 1,2,3... Three times - twice on Pesach and once right now. All three times the number I got was 185 names.

So we have 185 names now, right?

Not really. There are at least two duplicates that I noticed. One being Harav Yehoshua Weber, listed both in Monsey and also in Canada. The other is...drumroll...Harav Doniel Neustadt, Shlita who is listed both in Detroit and again in Lakewood.

Harav Neustadt is a real eye-opener because for those who remember 2015, not only did Harav Neustadt refuse to sign the Kol Koreh, but he went publicly on Headlines and explained why it is problematic. I felt he was expressing at least one of my concerns, so I felt proud both of myself and of Harav Neustadt.

Well, I suppose times have changed and Harav Neustadt did teshuva because now his name duly appears in the Kol Koreh. Not once, but twice! I cannot say why he changed his mind - although I have a hunch - but I will say that I am no longer so proud.

Anyhow, these two duplicates bring the number of signatories down to 183. Last I checked, 183 is 8.5% shy of 200.

Of course, a supporter may say, “Hey, that’s close to 200 in my book. What’s the matter if he rounded up a little?”

Firstly, not all of us use the same book. Secondly, I wonder if I owed any such supporter $200 and faithfully presented him with $183 and told him to “round it up and mark it paid in full” if he would be happy to do so. I sort of doubt it.

Paying $183 when one owes $200 is not very honest and neither is claiming to have 200 signatures and only coming up with 183. Hence, I emailed Reb Dovid Nyer at djn415@aol.com and asked him where are the other 17 signatures.

I am still waiting for a reply.

Another issue is the names of two Rabbonim from the Kollel in Cincinnati who signed in August 2015 but were absent in October 2016 and are mysteriously back. Did they waffle back and forth, or was the 2016 omission a mistake, or is the current inclusion a mistake? If it’s a mistake, we are down to 181 names.

This is another question that I emailed to Reb Dovid. Still waiting for a reply.

Now, I don’t have a photographic memory but I was still able to quickly notice al least two names from the original two versions that do not appear now. One is Harav Yaakov Hopfer of Baltimore and the other is Harav Binyamin Blau of Cleveland.

Both these omissions surprise me. I believe that Rav Hopfer was very active in dealing with some high-profile abuse scandals in Baltimore in the previous decade. Harav Binyamin Blau is the son of Rav Yosef Blau who is the leading crusader in all of America for prosecuting Jewish abusers. He chaired Vicki Polin’s Awareness Center, Jewish Community Watch, Magen in Israel, and even Tzedek in Australia. You can’t get a more vigilant anti-abuse activist than that. Once these two community Rabbonim signed the earlier versions, it is very puzzling why they, of all people, would unsign it.

Yep, I emailed this question to Reb Dovid Nyer, LCSW. As of now, no reply.

So we are down to a maximum of 183 signatures and possibly only 181 if the two Rabbonim form Cincinnati really retracted. What’s more is that, lo alenu, at least four of the previous signatories are listed in the ZTL category and, very sadly, since Pesach we have suffered at least two more - Harav Nota Greenblatt, ZTL and Rav Zecharia Wallerstein, ZTL. I will eventually explain why this is significant.

Anyhow, after six grueling years, our tireless organizer has only managed to garner 73 new names. It does not come close to 200 and I am very disturbed by his deceptive claim.

Once again, as I wrote in my original critique, I am not very impressed by this assortment of Rabbonim once we take a look at who could have signed it and didn’t.

Firstly, it seems that this entire campaign is being guided by Harav Shmuel Fuerst, Shlita who is the star alumnus of Telshe Chicago. Yet, not one Rosh Yeshiva or VIP from Telshe Chicago nor Telshe Cleveland signed the Kol Koreh.

Not a single member of the Agudas Yisroel Moetzes Gedolei haTorah signed it. No prominent Admorim and none of the Roshei Yeshiva from Lakewood, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Long Beach, Scranton, South Fallsburg, Passaic, Mir, Chaim Berlin, Staten Island and many others (Denver seems to be an exception). Only seven names from all of Lakewood (including Rav Neustadt who also appears in Detroit). Ten names each from all of Chicago and all of Maryland. Four names each from all of Detroit (remember Rav Neustadt), all of Florida, and all of Canada (don’t forget Rav Yehoshua Weber the other “two-timer”). Seven names each from all of Pennsylvania and all of Ohio. Less than twenty names from all of California.

Donald Trump did better than that.

There seems to be a short list of eight American Rabbonim in Eretz Yisrael and a bigger list who did not sign it along with any Israeli Rabbonim.

Harav Dovid Cohen who lauded it on the podcast did not go so far as to sign it even when he was in better health.

All told, it is very hard to be impressed by this massive group of 200 - 17 (or 19). Reb Dovid Nyer has been working on this for at least seven years and must have appealed to many more Rabbonim. If they didn’t sign it, there is a reason. All this comes after some of the uninspiring explanations I received from some of those who did sign it. One signatory told me that he considers Harav Fuerst his mentor, so when Harav Fuerst instructed asked him to sign it, he did not hesitate. This tells me that he signed it out of respect for Harav Fuerst and not out of respect for what the Kol Koreh says. There were similar claims from others.

Another noteworthy difference is that, contrary to the previous versions, this one does not display any actual signatures, just the names and positions of the signatories. It is possible that this was done to preserve very expensive Mishpacha magazine advertising space. But still, we can never be sure someone voluntarily signed something unless we see his John Hancock (even then...). As such, there is room to suspect that some of the new ones may have given half-hearted or “quasi”-consent or no real consent at all and the organizer still included their names on his own discretion.

And this brings me to the last noteworthy difference in this new printing. This printing appears on a three-page spread opening with a full-page lead article. I read this article over and was horrified by it because it fully exposes the agenda of this project. It says so right there:

This Kol Koreh asks individuals to report directly to the civil authorities without consulting a Rav...(that paragraph continues to say that there are actually legal problems with consulting a Rav first, or at delaying reporting a crime to police.)

Yessir, it is presenting reasons why someone who does not even have first-hand information should avoid consulting a Rav. This Kol Koreh is not meant to open the door for consulting the civil authorities when necessary, it is meant to close the door on any attempts to first consult a Rav!

One paragraph earlier, the writer quotes from an interview with Rav Shraga Feivel Zimmerman (perhaps the only American Rav in England - note, no real English Rabbonim signed it). He prefaces the quote as a means to explain "why these issues should not be dealt with internally, keeping the process of validating allegations and enforcing consequences to Rabbanim” as if this is the only role a Rav has to play in this drama.

Not at all. Rabbonim are needed to orchestrate events and give practical and Halachic guidance to the accusers (and suspected offenders when they are voluntarily involved) so that they do not cause more damage than they anticipated to themselves and the alleged victims in the course of their zealotry. 

The quote from Rav Zimmerman opens:

"Rabbonim trying to assess the veracity or severity of a victims claims of abuse have brought upon themselves legal entanglements with unintended consequences." 

Firstly, I might comment that this is an occupational hazard. Secondly, I doubt that this really happens very often. But thirdly, as I wrote a paragraph ago, is not necessarily where they need to go.

This is not to say that there is never a need to "validate allegations and enforce consequences", but don't forget the 3 Ps - “enforcing consequences” is the last thing we need to do, not the first. We need to protect people first. The civil authorities are more interested in enforcing consequences than protecting people. Hard to believe but take my word for it.

Rav Zimmerman's quote continues with the following: 

"In addition, Rabbonim lack the knowledge, ability & experience to make this assessment- it is a highly specialized field of endeavor - It is for this reason that even highly regarded Rabbonim have erred in this matter." 

I can agree with this statement. If I understand him correctly, he is making a contrast between the Rabbanim and law enforcement. Rabbanim lack the knowledge, ability and experience, which implies that law enforcement indeed has all of these. 

But then he closes: 

"Furthermore there are legal consequences for filing a false accusation - It is for this reason & other reasons that false accusations are very rare." 

I believe he is trying to put the icing on the cake to explain why not to be concerned about a false allegation. You can trust them cops (or, Bobbies). 

I think this is wishful thinking. I have followed numerous cases of completely false accusations. You can find thousands of them here: 

https://www.law.umich.edu/special/exoneration/Pages/about.aspx

I am aware of few instances if any of anybody who falsely pressed charges being faced with legal consequences. Perhaps, a civil lawsuit now and then or some minimal restitution from the offending jurisdiction (only when the allegation resulted in a false conviction). Perjury is possible, but very rare. There is absolutely no ועשיתם לו כאשר זמם in the secular world.

Anyway, Rav Elyashiv explicitly wrote that each case should be vetted out by a Rav first. And Rav Doniel Neustadt, in his previous gilgul, explained why. Rarely are we dealing with a case of such imminent danger that requires police intervention on the spur of the moment. When such is the case, all Rabbonim permit it. Most cases involve picking up the pieces after the damage is done. This is always the department of a Rav.

So the purpose of this article is to employ “daas Torah” to fight tooth and nail to convince us from this “daas torah” that there is a “Torah obligation” to avoid using any daas Torah (get that??) when dealing with such an explosive situation.

And in order to get daas Torah to tell us not to use daas Torah, he misrepresents daas Torah and makes a deceptive attempt to enlist Gedolei Hador who didn’t sign this Kol Koreh and never would.

As such, he throws in a word of mouth story from Rav Mayer Horowitz, Shlita about what he claims Rav Elyashiv told him in a private conversation. The quote is, “He said to me very emphatically that one is obligated to tell the police because it destroys the psyche of the child.”

Hold on!

When you “tell the police”, did you now fix the psyche of the child? How? Are the police therapists?

Obviously, Rav Elyashiv was saying why it is necessary to see to it that a known ongoing case of child abuse is stopped. If telling the police is the only way to do it, then that’s the way to go. But if it is already stopped, and all you want to do is punish the offender (who is statistically very likely to be a victim himself), you are not going to fix anybody’s psyche. Just cause more damage. I don’t need to be Rav Elyashiv to know that.

And if there are other ways to get the job done that do not cause so much damage, there is no indication that Rav Elyashiv permitted these steps to be skipped.

This is why Rav Elyashiv said to check out every case.

Incidentally, if we don’t get a precise transcript of Rav Elyashiv’s exact words, we cannot be sure Rav Horowitz is quoting him accurately. I don’t know exactly what Rav Elyashiv said but I know what he wrote. He did not write to go straight to the police. The writer is misrepresenting him.

The writer then goes on to enlist Rav Chaim Kanievsky, ZTL. It is true that Rav Chaim ruled in one actual case which he understood was a matter of saving lives. He never ruled what to do in any case he wasn’t asked about. I will assume that he would indeed follow in the tradition of his father-in-law Rav Elyashiv, ZTL and never rule on a case he was not told about.

The writer goes on to discourage going to a therapist first with an astonishing quote: “therapists can lose their license if they attempt to investigate”.

Okay, so don’t go to as therapist to investigate. How about going to a therapist for therapy? One may be very surprised to learn in therapy that nothing really needs to be investigated.

The writer obviously lives in a mindset of Punish, punish, punish. Prosecute, penalize and punish. Don’t let the perp get away. Don’t let anything stop you from prosecuting and punishing no matter what this will do to the accuser, the victim, the offender or anyone else. Punishing people is the biggest mitzvah. It’s לא תעמוד על דם רעיך. It’s a “Torah obligation”. It is דוחה כל התורה כולה.

And 200 183 Rabbonim actually signed this idiocy!! (I am, so happy so many others did not.)

So, I emailed Dovid Nyer about this as well. I asked him if all of the 200 183 Rabbonim who signed the Kol Koreh read the article? Quite obviously, those on the ZTL list did not sign it so reading the article was not a prerequisite. As such, I also asked, “Did any of them read it before signing?”

I am still awaiting his reply.

 

 

I have more to discuss about this publication, so I am planning a Part 2. Don’t know when...stay tuned!