Spitting, Crying, and Laughing All at Once

Many of us patronizing Orthodox Jews are fond of telling over this hypothetical story:

Mr. and Mrs. Goodman, a Jewish couple, were having some serious personal issues and so they made an appointment to consult the local Orthodox Rabbi, Rabbi Moskowitz. The interesting thing was that the Goodmans were non-observant Jews who happened to be members of the neighborhood Reform Temple led by Rabbi Rose.

The Goodmans met with Rabbi Moskowitz, poured out their hearts, and listened to his advice on how, with G-d’s help, to deal with their issues. At the end of the meeting, Rabbi Moskowitz remarks to them: “I am happy to have met you and glad to be of help but you don’t seem to be members of my congregation. With whom are you affiliated?”

“This is true, Rabbi, we are actually members of Rabbi Rose’s Reform congregation.”

“Well, Rabbi Rose is a well-educated, intelligent man. If you are members of his congregation, why did you not consult him? Why come to me?”

Says Mr. Goodman, “I’ll tell you, Rabbi. We are Reform Jews but…well… G-d…you know…He’s Orthodox!”

Yep, even secular Jews know that G-d is Orthodox. And He’s not just Orthodox. He’s chareidi!

How do I know?

Because “chareidim” are the ones that the Prophet Yeshaya was referring to when he wrote, “Hear the word of G-d; those of you who are chareidim (anxious) to hear His word.”

According to Yeshaya, chareidim are those who hear the word of G-d – and carry it out. Hence, G-d must be chareidi because, if not, why would Yeshaya use that term to refer to those who listen to His word? If G-d wants people to “hear His word” and He calls those people chareidim, then whatever G-d’s “word” is, must be to behave like a chareidi.

You have my word!

So, what is the word of G-d that whoever listens gets to be called chareidi?

Week before last, we heard (Shmos 20:8-15): Keep the Shabbos, honor your parents, don’t kill or steal or commit adultery or lie in Beis Din, etc.

Last week we heard (Shmos 21:16): U’gonev ish u’mecharo…mos yumas – one who kidnaps a person and sells him into slavery (or captivity – i.e., prison) is subject to the death penalty.

In Ellul we will hear (Devarim 23:16): Lo tasgir eved (Do not hand over a slave). Chazal explain this to mean that any person who is Jewish, or even half-Jewish, cannot be extradited outside of Eretz Israel (see Rashi).

And on every Jewish festival we will hear (Vayikra 22:32): לא תחללו את שם קדשי – Do not desecrate My holy Name.

This is what G-d wants us to hear.

We have to be Holy because G-d is Holy (Vayikra19:2). And if we have to be “chareidi”, it’s because G-d is “chareidi”.

I haven’t written about the Malka Leifer episode for some time. This is mainly because there is not a lot happening.

Well, very recently there was a bit of a breakthrough. The new independent psychiatric panel announced “unanimously and unequivocally” that Mrs. Leifer is mentally fit to be extradited. The announcement was made on January 10, 2020 and submitted to the court on January 14. Apparently, there will be about three hearings to allow the defense to cross-examine the members of the panel, the current dates for the first two are February 26 and 27, 2020. Even these may be delayed. This itself will bring us close to Pesach (and probably beyond).

Oh, no! There has just been a decision (Feb. 18) that the defense is going to be allowed to bring their own expert witnesses to rebut the panel’s decision in addition to being able to cross-examine the panel. Will it ever end?

After all of this is done, there will be a final decision from the court just on the mental fitness issue probably not less than 45 days later. Assuming the report is upheld, only then will begin actual extradition hearings. No telling how long they will last but, if the extradition order is upheld, we can expect appeals.

So this saga has turned into one prolonged war of attrition. I don’t know what toll this is taking on the accused, but the accusers seem to be plenty distraught. On her January 14 post, Dassi Erlich reports “We are exhausted” from the other side screaming and yelling. And on December 11, 2019, she revealed how the court dates affect her blood pressure.

But I am certain it will all be worthwhile in the end. You know what they say about wars, especially wars of attrition: War does not determine who’s right. It only determines who’s left!

Now, how do I know everything that I am writing about?

I am obviously following this case very closely. As new things happen, there are articles popping up in the mainstream Israeli tabloids including JPost, YNet, Haaretz, Arutz7, and, of course Times of Israel, which seems to have an affiliation with the Australian New Age. But of course, the main outlet of information, which usually displays links to the tabloid articles, is Dassi Erlich’s dedicated Facebook page: Beyond a Survivor (BringLeiferBack).

This Facebook page has been in operation since at least March of 2017. While, on the one hand it is a source of information and a forum of support, on the other hand it is a hotbed of animosity, Lashon Hara (at best) and Motzi Shem Ra (at worst).

The legend tells us that when Rabbi Akiva was molested confronted by the beautiful wife of Tinius Rufus, his response was to simultaneously spit [in disgust], to cry and to laugh. We understand that there was something disgusting about the situation, something pathetic, and something amusing. (For specifics, see Ran in Nedarim 50b.)

Whenever I check the BringLeiferBack page, I feel the same way – like I need to spit in disgust, to cry, and to laugh.

The Torah sources that I referenced earlier in this post reveal the “word of G-d” in this matter. G-d does not want any Jewish people extradited from Israel to Australia. It does not matter what they may have done when they were there twelve years ago, no Jew – saint or sinner ­‑ may be forcibly sent out of His land. He likewise does not want any Jews to languish in prison and He is not interested in having his Holy Name desecrated by people who want to act against His will.

In addition to this, appealing to Australian high officials to intervene is not something that is good for the Jews. The Mishna in Avos (2:3) tells us:

Beware of the authorities. They do not bring people close to them except for their own purposes. They appear as friends when they can benefit, but they will not help at a time of need.

This applies even to when we want them to help us do things that HKBH may approve of. How much more if they appeal to non-Jews to help them accomplish things that HKBH does not approve of.

So, getting back to Dassi Erlich’s Facebook page, I noted that it makes we feel like I want to spit, cry, and laugh.

Firstly, to spit in disgust when I see that a Facebook page dedicated to extraditing a Jew out of Eretz Yisrael and being moser her to the Australian authorities is even in existence. No less, created and maintained by other Jews, at least one of whom claims to be religious.

As far as crying, there is so much to cry about. Firstly, all of the above. I cry for the chillul Hashem and for all the senseless damage that is being done for no good reason. But perhaps, the saddest thing is to see all of those Jews who support this campaign and realize how disconnected they are to the teachings of our Torah and true Yiddishkeit.

Lastly, it is quite amusing to watch the irony of it all. To see people crying and lamenting that the extradition that should [not] be happening is, thus far, not happening and that a judicial defense system which is geared to protect people from gratuitous prosecution is, in fact, thus far succeeding in protecting people from gratuitous prosecution. Likewise, to see people, with the cry of “justice”, openly advocating measures of subverting the procedures of due process of law to get the result they want.

These people are totally oblivious to the idea that if their subversion of due process makes headway and the genie is let out of the bottle, there is nothing to prevent themselves from becoming its next victim. In short, when one builds a 50-cubit gallows for somebody else, there is no telling who will swing on it. The gallows isn’t picky.

As always, HKBH is having the last laugh. And I am laughing along.

I am not a big Facebook person. Facebook is not for Bnei Torah. Okay, I did create an Achas L'Maala page to post links to my blog. Outside of that, the only reason I have a Facebook account is because there are situations (such as this) when I want to access someone else's Facebook page and I couldn’t do that without an account.

As for the BringLeiferBack Facebook page, there were occasions a while ago when I tried to post some comments in an effort to quell the lynch mob mentality. It wasn’t long before I was blocked from commenting. So, what I want to do now is to copy down some of the juicier comments from some of the most recent posts and to add my own comments in line with my “chareidi” perspective.



Post from February 21, 2020

On Feb. 21, Dassi informed us that one of the sisters, Nicole Meyer, is planning to come to Israel for the hearings scheduled for Feb. 26 and 27.

To follow are just a few of the comments with "replies" of my own:

Jodi Levy 26th is rosh chodesh Adar. Adar is the month that is endowed with special mazal and transformation. May it be your month! 

Yechezkel H I wrote quite a lot about chodesh Adar and how it relates to this episode in this post. As far as the “special mazal” is concerned, the Shulchan Aruch tells us that if we have a litigation with a non-Jew, Adar is an auspicious month for holding it because, in this month, the “mazal” gives us a special favor over the non-Jews. Unfortunately, it won’t work when a Jew is battling another Jew.

This comment highlights the abhorrent lynch mob attitude that Malka Leifer – who at least keeps mitzvos – does not have the status of a Jew. Ironically, since it is only Mrs. Leifer who is having a “judgement” against non-Jews. The “mazal” of Adar may actually turn it into Mrs. Leifer’s auspicious month.

Betsy Littmann Adar is a mazeldicka month. May it be for u. May justice be served. Praying!!

Yechezkel H Again with the Adar as a “mazeldicka month”. Hello! Mrs. Leifer is just as Jewish! She’ll have just as much mazal. She also has the advantage of being the one who is being persecuted at this stage, so she has the advantage of האלקים מבקש את הנרדף[ת].

What I found amusing was the last word – “Praying!!” Excuse me, but to Whom exactly are you praying and are you sure that He really wants what you are praying for?

Leif Schipper Hashem will ensure justice is served.....your determination and unwavering actions are to be blessed x

Yechezkel H Looks like I have competition in the prophecy business. I wonder which one of us is the navi emess and which one is the navi sheker (hint – refer to what Yeshaya said about hearing the Word of G-d.) In truth, I also believe that justice will be served. I am not as convinced that their “determination and unwavering actions are to be blessed” because, in my opinion, they are causing and perpetuating a horrific chillul Hashem as indicated above.

Posts from Feb 18, 2020

On February 18, 2020, Dassi Erlich posted two posts to lament about a ruling by Judge Lomp that will allow the defense to recall their witnesses to rebut the findings of the new independent panel. Dassi calls this “unprecedented”.

I am not a legal expert, but I have conducted civil litigation and I have my doubts.

The way things work is that the plaintiff or prosecution has to call all of their witnesses first and then “rest” (just like in the US). Thereupon, the defense can call all the witnesses they need to controvert the case of the plaintiff. If the plaintiff or prosecution is, for some reason, granted the right to enter more evidence (e.g., from an “independent” panel) after the defense has had their say, there is no reason that the defense cannot call whatever witnesses they need to deal with it. Why should it matter if these witnesses testified earlier? They are now here to address new evidence.

Regardless, Dassi and her followers thought that this is outrageous and let it be known.

Here are some of the comments that were posted in the earlier of the two posts – with my added comments:



Mary Rockman Koorey who can you find to override Judge Lomp?

Yechezkel H Ah, that’s the ticket. Override the judge!

A final ruling of a judge can be appealed. But, usually, it can only be appealed by the defense and not by the prosecution. Moreover, I highly doubt that any procedural ruling can be appealed or overturned in any case. Hence, I have a strong feeling that Ms. Koorey is not calling for a legitimate legal motion but, rather, some way of circumventing true “justice” and seeing to it that the accused is sent to the chair regardless if they are guilty.

This comment was replied to as follows:

Ruth Cohen Harif Heavenly lightning to strike the stinking court and destroy it. I pray for that daily, I live in Israel and our legal system is a source of great pain and misery to us here all the time. This is not just about this particular case, it is always disgusting.

Yechezkel H What a great idea! I actually have a hard time with this comment because I agree with most of what she says about the Israeli legal system. And perhaps it could use a good dose of “Heavenly lightning”. 

That said, I would only expect “Heavenly lightning” to strike at a time when the court does not concur with the will of Heaven. As I have noted, I do not believe that this is the case here. Ms. Harif claims that she “prays for that daily”. Does she mean that she is praying for the Israeli legal system to be replaced by the Word of G-d (Halacha) so that Mrs. Leifer will get duly extradited to the kangaroos in Australia? Why am I skeptical about this?

Later on:

Yael Diakoumis Isn't there anybody higher up? Someone to [to] whom Judge Lomp should explain herself?

Yechezkel H How high up did you want to go?

The above comment was replied by:

Ruth Cohen Harif Our powerful elites fear no God and feel they are invincible. we need to drain the swamp. God help us we in Israel have no decent legal system at all,

Yechezkel H Clearly, Ms. Harif is a very religious woman who wants nothing more than for all of us to obey the will of G-d.

Dassi Erlich; Beyond a Survivor Mike Zu I've had many tell me they have dropped their support for Israel over this case. It's sad that its had to come to this.

Yechezkel H It hasn’t had to come to this. It has come to this because Dassi and her sisters are pushing for it no matter what the cost.

The sad fact is that this and the recent strained relations between the Israeli and Australian governments are the collateral damage from this senseless and counterproductive extradition campaign. And who is accountable for this damage?

This is not the responsibility of the accused for what she may have done 12-15 years ago. It is the responsibility of those who created, maintain, and support this costly campaign here and now. It is they who will have to answer for this damage.

Abe N Sally Cyprys A chillul hashem. Someone is pulling some very strong strings.

Yechezkel H My feeling is that the One who is pulling some very strong strings is the One whose name is being desecrated by those who think otherwise.

I’ll call it quits here, but there is plenty more. I just want to summarize that this post and the other post from this date are totally saturated with comments again and again blaming the “corrupt” legal system, Bibi, and of course Litzman together with all the chareidim for the phantom extradition that is not happening fast enough for them. Oh, and every single one of them knows without a shadow of a doubt that Mrs. Leifer is guilty as charged and not fit to exist on this planet of “theirs”.

Nobody, but nobody, seems to blame HKBH. Especially those who claim to pray to Him. It’s not Him! It’s just the crooked judges and politicians and, of course, the chareidim. If G-d had His way, she would have been extradited to Australia long ago and would now be rotting there in jail for eternity.

If only G-d had His way… 

I don’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

שמְעוּ דְּבַר ה' הַחֲרֵדִים אֶל דְּבָרוֹ אָמְרוּ אֲחֵיכֶם שֹׂנְאֵיכֶם מְנַדֵּיכֶם לְמַעַן שְׁמִי יִכְבַּד ה' וְנִרְאֶה בְשִׂמְחַתְכֶם וְהֵם יֵבֹשׁוּ.

Related posts:

Mishenichnas ADAR Marbim b’… Rechilus?

Flirting with Danger

Dassi’s Lament: The Pitfalls of Vengeance

Arrur Makka Re’eyhu B’Galui – The “Gift” of Sharing

We all know that the Internet can be a very dangerous place. Fortunate is the Jew who has no need for it and can stay far away. This post is for the rest of us.

In past writings, I have referred to the Internet as one of many Parah Adumahs. Parah Adumah is a euphemism for something that can be both very helpful and very harmful. ימין מקרב ושמאל דוחה. In theory, the Internet is a very useful, if not indispensable, tool. I think we can itemize the functions of the Internet into four basic “elements” (i.e., categories):

·         News and Information – Online newspapers and magazines, weather, online encyclopedias and dictionaries, translation utilities, currency exchange, etc.

·         Communication - Email, SMS, Chat, Messenger, Twitter, VoIP, Skype, etc.

·         Online Marketing and Commerce – Online retailers (eBay, Amazon), travel services, banks and financial services, advertising and fund raising, etc.

·         Entertainment and Gaming – Lots of worthless, time-wasting (and naughty) stuff.

Basically, the fourth category is where the major problems are. If not for this group, we wouldn't need all of those filters and Rabbinic sanctions. The other sections are very useful when we need them.

You may have noticed that I made no mention of social media. I don’t see social media as a fundamental element but rather as a compound comprising the above elements. Social media is merely a portal by which to access one or more of the above functions.

Thus, YouTube would be seen as a cross between News and Information – since many of the clips are how-tos, newscasts, interviews and documentaries – and Entertainment. Serious blogs and podcasts would go primarily into the News and Information category, but some may be commercial (Online Marketing and Commerce) or they could be dedicated to humor or sleaze (Entertainment) and, if there is interactive commenting, then some Communication is involved, as well. Chat forums are primarily Communication but the theme of the forum links it to at least one of the other elemental categories.

And, at last, we arrive at the social networking sites which are totally dominated by Facebook. Facebook has it all.

It has always been possible for anybody to upload whatever they want onto the Internet, but before sites like My Space or Facebook and Twitter came around, one needed to be computer literate to some extent. Even to manage a blog, and certainly a podcast, one needs to know what they are doing. So blogs and podcasts are used by people who have some level of intelligence and with it they may also have some common sense and, with that, comes the capacity to determine what should and shouldn’t be written in public.

Not so Facebook, Twitter, chat rooms and forums, and the like. These are designed expressly for the המון עם – the “man in the street” – אשר לא ידע בין ימינו לשמאלו ובהמה רבה. One need not have more than a third-grade education and a kindergarten mentality to post on these sites.

In some previous posts, I mentioned that posting opinionated material onto the internet in any forum can be risky business. This is both from a Halachic perspective and from a legal one. In terms of Halacha, in today’s world we live in an honor system. Even if it counts as bona fide Lashon Hara or, even worse, Motzi shem rah, there is not much anybody can do to you…in this world.

From a personal standpoint, I must admit that I put a lot of weight on the well-known Chazal that says (Erachin 16a): כל מילתא דמיתאמרי באפי תלתא לית בה משום לישנא בישא. Any thing that was said in the presence of three people, there is no longer an issue of lashon hara [to relay this]. And why?

The gemara explains that this is because your friend has a friend and his friend has a friend. Word gets around.

Social networking!

Hence, I try as best I can only to discuss material that is already exposed on the same forum that I use (i.e., the Internet). If there is something that I happen to know but is not already public knowledge, I will not reveal it unless there is an important reason to do so.

All this is the halachic perspective. But there is also a secular legal world with secular courts that can call one to task for posting defamatory and/or damaging material. As I wrote in this post, it is quite advisable to know the rules. The interesting thing is that the rules are constantly changing.

Over the past decade, there have been copious news articles discussing an upsurge of defamation suits that are due to social media. Facebook has been sued all over the world zillions of times. Courts are being overwhelmed with defamation cases and many lawyers are taking it on as a specialty. It has become an industry unto itself.

As of late, it has only gotten worse. This is because most of the recent rulings have expanded the scope of “actionable” defamation scenarios as opposed to reducing it. The more types of communication that can be considered legally “actionable”, the more legal action there will be. This will certainly keep the courts and many lawyers very, very busy.

It appears that many courts in the westernized world do not want to concur with the gemara in Erachin that states that once three or more people already know the sordid facts, there can no longer be claims of defamation. It looks like the opposite is true. The more people who “spread the wealth” (or sling the mud), the more who are liable to be sued (and thus forfeit their “wealth”).

Noam Schreiber, a Jerusalem based attorney who specializes in defamation cases, maintains a blog that “lays down the law”. He calls his blog Ohev Yamim. Recent posts of his have covered a number of methods of disseminating defamatory material.

The first question is, if somebody merely clicks a “Like” button on a defamatory post, would this make the user who “liked’ an accessory to the defamation?

On this question, the Israeli court ruled that this is not sufficient to claim defamation. The basic reasoning is that “Liking” a post does not spread the defamation so the one who clicked cannot be seen as a “distributor” (and he is certainly not the “publisher”).

But what if you “share” a defamatory post on to your page that was written by somebody else and originally posted elsewhere?

A ruling issued by the Israel Supreme Court on January 8, 2020 upheld a district court ruling that the one who “shares” is considered a “distributor” of defamatory material and can be held liable for it as if he is the “publisher”. This is despite the fact that the material is already on display somewhere else in the Internet. Apparently, the court did not acknowledge the gemara in Erachin 16a.

Uh-oh!

Now, how about this: If Dave is running a Facebook site (or a blog or something similar) and he doesn’t write anything that is by itself defamatory. But now Sol comes and writes in the comments section on Dave's page something that is clearly defamatory, can Dave be sued for hosting the material? Can he be called a “publisher” and/or “distributor”?

This question has been adjudicated in a number of places throughout the world. Both in Canada and in, of all places, Australia, there have been recent high-profile rulings that assess liability to the host of the site. Until very recently, there had not been a documented ruling here in Israel.

This may have changed as, on February 7, 2020, the Petach Tikva Magistrate Court ruled that a majority shareholder of a company was liable for defamatory comments that were posted by other people on the company’s Facebook page. Though it’s not clear whether he personally managed the Facebook page, since he had the authority to take down the material and he was named a defendant in the suit, the court found him liable.

This case could yet be appealed but it is a current precedent. The implication from Mr. Schreiber is that there are other cases of this “third party” complaint currently being litigated in Israeli courts.

All told, with the Corona virus going around, we learn that “sharing” is not always a good thing. 

The word “gift” is a funny word. In English it means “a present”. This is something beneficial. But in German and Yiddish it means “poison”. This is something quite harmful. When you “share” on Facebook or on any Internet site that is yours, make sure you are sharing a gift (English) and not a gift (Yiddish).

But, even more, if you run an opinionated blog like I do or a chat forum or a Facebook page dedicated to tracking the status or activities of other folks, and your blog/forum/Facebook page is open to comments from outside people, it is not enough to make sure that what you write yourself is done in “good faith”. You must make sure that what other people post on your site is strictly Kosher. Because you are responsible for it. Especially if it looks like you inspired it and agree with it.

Maybe I should thank G-d that hardly anybody comments on my blog site instead of complaining about it. I have seen quite few well meaning blogs and Facebook pages and not to mention some malicious ones that are lawsuits waiting to happen.

Most of the time these comments are not written by one's “enemies”. They are written by one's friends. You know what they say: Keep your enemies close and your friends closer.

The ogmas nefesh (grief) that you save may be your own!

Daf Yomi Al Yemei Melech Tosif – Of Jugglers (and Actors and Politicians) and Kings

I haven’t posted for quite some time and it doesn’t seem like anybody missed me.

Several major things have happened since I last wrote but I will focus on two of them:

·       The Jewish nation completed the Daf Yomi cycle and celebrated numerous Siyumei Hashas all over the world.

·       Kirk Douglas (born Isser Danielovich) was summoned to the Beis Din Shel Maala at the ripe young age of 103.

Is there any connection between the two events?

One thing is [almost] certain – Kirk Douglas/Danielovich wasn’t learning Daf Yomi. But he could have been.

Actually, all that I want to do now is to reprint part of a post I wrote more than 10 years ago in July 2009. The post is titled:

The Best Bachur in Yeshiva Gedola Melk-Mauthausen

That post was written on the occasion of my father’s (LOY”T) 80^th birthday. I wrote about how he spent the years that most of us are in Yeshiva in concentration camps and DP camps. He missed the time that most of us master the skills of independent learning and so, most of his learning over the next 60 years was from going to local shiurim. But sometime over the past two decades, he decided to get a bit more aggressive and so, shortly before his 80^th birthday, he made his first siyum mishnayos.

Last July he reached his 90^th birthday and things have only gotten better.

Ever since I wrote that post in July 2009, my father, LOY”T, has been catching up on the learning that he missed in his younger years. Firstly, he has been attending Daf Yomi as regularly as he can over the past decade. I don’t think he always makes up the times he misses but he is always right back in there. He attended one of the out of town Siyumei HaShas last month and was honored to recite the Kel Malei Rachamim for the Kedoshim of the Holocaust.

Secondly, he has been attending the Agudas Yisrael Yarchei Kallah in Yerushalayim over the last four or so years. He is definitely one of the most senior, if not the most senior person in attendance. I have been his chavrusah for these events and it is quite a thrill.

Thirdly, as his grandchildren come of age, there is a steady demand for him to set time to learn with them. He now has a weekly seder kavuah with one grandson in his hometown in the US, and when he comes here to Eretz Yisrael, they all need to make appointments.

This is the ameilus b’Torah that is the source of all of our success.

But the world doesn’t look at this as a life of success. It looks at the life of Kirk (Isser Danielovich) Douglas as a life of success.

It’s all in the eye of the beholder.

There is an important lesson to be learned here. It is the exact same lesson that I was preaching ten years ago, except that then, I chose a different Halachically Jewish intermarried celebrity to pick on. It was George (Nathan Birnbaum) Burns. He only lived to be 100.

The message is the same and it bears repeating. So I will reprint the second half of the post exactly as it was written then in reference to George Burns. על אחת כמה וכמה to Kirk Douglas who lived even three years longer!

This is what I wrote:

But the disquieting thought ran much further:

Imagine how many Jewish people there are - non-observant ones for sure, but even many "Orthodox" Jews who keep mitzvos - who live peaceful productive lives 80 years and beyond and finally, at the end of their time, go upstairs with absolutely nothing!

Absolutely nothing!

What a waste. What an awful shame!

This thought did not occur to me just last Shabbos. It occurred to me almost 14 years ago when I submitted an essay on the subject to the Jewish Observer for publication (they rejected it!).

The essay was a critique of a brief news item that appeared in my local newspaper. It was about the famous borsht belt comedian, George Burns. George Burns was born Nathan Birnbaum in New York in January of 1896. His father was the chazzan in a shul. He married Gracie Allen, an Irish catholic in 1926 and he died in March of 1996 at the age of 100 and 2 months. Although he dropped out of school in 4th grade, nobody will dispute that he was one sharp quick-witted fellow.

The news item appeared in late 1995 and it informed the reader of an upcoming celebration that was being planned for George Burns in January when he will reach his 100th birthday. The article said that George, just shy of 100, is still very active and goes to his office on a daily basis and never misses playing cards with his friends. His mind is still as sharp as ever.

When I saw that news item my mind went berzerk! Here's a Jewish fellow from a religious home that G-d granted a sharp and gifted mind that he was able to maintain for 100 years - that's 100 years without a wheelchair! - and this gifted Jewish fellow spends a few hours a day playing cards!

And what is he going to bring with him when he finally gets upstairs (he did, within four months)?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing! 100 years of a brilliant mind and he has absolutely nothing!

Can you imagine? G-d (the real One) says to him: "Nathan, I gave you 100 years on your feet and what did you bring Me? A deck of cards?"

It isn't funny, George (er, I mean, Nate).

What a waste! I wrote as much in my essay. I don't remember the way I wrote it but I remember this line:

If that man would have done nothing more than devote one hour per day to hear a daf yomi shiur from the day he was 70 years old... by now, he would have finished all of shas 4 times!!!(Note - I am about half way to 100 and I still haven't finished shas once but I am closing in on it!)

Finish shas 4 times! For one hour per day. From age 70!! (His non-Jewish wife died when he was 68.) And he went up there with nothing!

I recall that I ended this essay with an old Jewish joke from one of those Jewish Folklore books:

2 women approached the local Rav to complain about their husbands. One's husband was a miser to the extreme and wouldn't relinquish a penny to someone less fortunate and his wife couldn't deal with it. The other was a compulsive philanthropist and would give his money to the needy to the point of self-depravation and his wife could barely meet the household budget.

The Rav told each woman to send their respective husbands to him for a consultation.

Both husbands arrived at the Rav at the same time. The Rav asked the first woman's husband, "Is it true that you do not give any money to the needy?" The man admitted so and the Rav asked him to explain.

"Well, I know that some people live well into their 80s and 90s and they cannot work and have no source of livelihood. I am afraid that if I give my spare money to others and don't store it away, there will be nothing left to keep me afloat in my golden years."

The Rav then asked the second woman's husband, "Is it true that you squander your money to charity?" The man admitted so and the Rav asked him to explain.

"Well, I know that life is very short. We are here one moment and gone the next. If I die tomorrow, what good would be to me a treasure of money? I want to see to it that my money is being put to good use immediately. I cannot worry about a tomorrow that may never come. If G-d gives me life, He will give me food."

The Rav looked at the two men and made a summation: "So it appears that husband #1 hordes all his money because he is afraid that he may live a very long time. Husband #2 disperses his money because he is afraid that he may not live another day."

"May G-d preserve each of you from what he fears the most!"

Carl Reiner (97) and Mel Brooks (94) created the Two Thousand Year-Old Man.  Who knows? They just may reach 2000 years themselves. Will they still be kibbitzing around or will they "Get Smart"? (I believe both of them produced children from Jewish women so there is some hope.)

And maybe even younger folk like Bernie Sanders (79) should listen up!

אשרנו מה טוב חלקנו – ששמת חלקנו מיושבי בית המדרש ולא שמת חלקנו מיושבי קרנות

Update - An alert reader informed me that sometime in his eighties, Mr. Kirk Douglas did indeed reconnect to his Yiddishkeit and engaged an Orthodox Rabbi for some Torah study. B"H, he does not come upstairs totally empty-handed. (Mechila!) 
It brings to mind the famous fable from Chovos HaLevavos about one who was given an hour to take all he wanted from the King's treasure house but only took a few small gems as he was being ushered out.
The point of this post is to point out that some people even get two hours, relatively speaking, and have nothing more to show for it. 
Chaval.