Friends in High Places

אדם דואג על איבוד דמיו ואינו דואג על איבוד ימיו.

דמיו אינם עוזרים וימיו אינם חוזרים.

A man is concerned about losing a dime, but he is not concerned about passage of time 

None of his money will come to his aid, and a day that has passed cannot be replayed.

We all know that there are things that money can’t buy. It can’t buy us more time in this world, it can’t buy us genuine love or happiness or intelligence. And it can’t buy us genuine friends. 

When I was a kid, I used to watch the old Batman and Robin program. In one episode, the villain (the Riddler) is announcing his plan for a sudden [ill-gotten] acquisition of wealth. Batman attempts to give him mussar: “Money won’t buy you friends, Riddler!” The Riddler shot back a cynical look and said with a laugh, “If one has money, who needs friends?!”

For things money can buy, one may not need friends. But for things that money cannot buy, a friend in need is a friend indeed. When we set out to the next world, we know “we can’t take it with us”. We definitely will not be able to buy favorable accommodations. Of course, the spiritual credits and debits that we accrued in this world are going to be calculated, but we will be in a strange and perhaps, hostile place. It certainly helps to have some friends.

Who might our friends be?

The gemara in Eruvin 19a tells us that the Jewish sinners have a bit of proteksia over the non-Jewish ones on the day of reckoning. It quotes a statement from Reish Lakish that:

The fire of Gehinnom does not dominate over the Jewish sinners. This is learned from the golden mizbeach…If so, how are we to understand עובר בעמק הבכא  – those who transverse the “Valley of Tears” (Gehinnom)? This is for one who, at that moment, was sentenced to Gehinnom, whereupon Avrohom Avinu comes and pulls him out and receives him, with the exception of a son of Israel who had relations with a non-Jewish woman because his foreskin is stretched out and he (Avrohom Avinu) cannot recognize that he is Jewish.

So, our first friend (or, last friend, for those who will have no one else and reaches this “level”) will be Avrohom Avinu. Even if one has a whole portfolio of misdeeds, if he did not cross this line of misusing his “foreskin”, he will have one powerful defense attorney.

Of course, people who don’t want to rely on Avrohom Avinu can make sure to spend a Rosh Hashannah in Uman so that Rabi Nachman can pull him out of Gehinnom by his peyos. Still, it seems that in order to merit the intervention of Rabi Nachman, one needs to visit his kever. In other words, one needs to make friends with him. A friend needs to be earned.

Not every “friend” needs to be a prominent tzaddik (but it helps). Here is a first-hand account of a fellow named Nir who claims to have undergone a near-death experience.

(If you cannot see the embedded video, it can be seen HERE.)

Nir was a secular Jew at the time so he didn’t dress like this then. He says that for the most part, he did not have many “mitzvos” on his record and he was ready to take the dive. But then things changed. (Starting about 24:15).

Firstly, his deceased grandmother was able to summon the intervention of the Ben Ish Chai. Very good man to have in your corner. But the Ben Ish Chai wasn’t able to do it on his own. He was able to help Nir gather up a few well-earned “friends”. Friends that he did not know he has.

It seems that on one occasion, Nir and his cousin went to a cemetery in Israel to visit their grandfather’s kever. He brought along some water to rinse the kever from the accumulation of dust. While he did this, he noticed there were a number of other graves that has a substantial buildup of dust and clearly there was nobody to look after these graves. So he used the rest of his water to rinse a few other graves.

After this, he made a routine on Erev Rosh Hashannah and Erev Yom Kippur to go to some cemeteries and rinse neglected graves. At one place, he noticed two old graves of little children who never even had a matzeiva put there. Just a marker, for years. He decided to collect money for matzeivos for these two sisters. When he put in the matzeivos, he gathered ten men to make a “gilui matzeiva” (unveiling) and say kaddish.

The Ben Ish Chai escorted Nir from one world to the next to gather up the souls of those people whose graves he cleaned and, claims Nir, they waged a mighty war against the malachei chabala that wanted to bring him down. Nir says (about 41:00) that he still didn’t know where he was headed until these two sisters showed up and shouted on his behalf with shouts that shook “all of the worlds”. At this stage, the Ben Ish Chai got “clearance” to send Nir back to this world so that he can do teshuva.

Nir is living happily ever after.

We learn that one way of making “friends” is to do chessed. Chessed is one thing that one can do with money! And anyone who benefits from one’s chessed will be a friend for life and beyond. Incidentally, I have a hunch that the less you really know who your friends are, the better friends they will be when you need their help.

There is yet another way to make good long-lasting friends. And, very powerful friends, at that.

Over the past few weeks, people have been circulating the story of Rav Avraham Moshe Keller, ZT”L. The story was carried by Yeshiva World News and you can read the entire story HERE.

To condense the story, Rav Avrohom Moshe Keller grew up in Argentina when there were no Yeshivos there. There was a dedicated Jew named Rav Zeev Greenberg who helped educate young Jews. Upon reaching bar-mitzvah, Rav Greenberg gave the young Avraham Moshe a copy of Kitzur Shulchan Aruch and told his to let this sefer be his guide.

Avraham Moshe did just that and studied the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch cover to cover again and again for the rest of his life and faithfully followed the Halachos. He lived a life of Torah observance and raised a family in Argentina. Finally, three years ago, aged 79, he was zocheh to make aliya to Eretz Yisroel. Sadly, around Pesach time, at the height of the initial wave of Covid-19, Rav Keller, now 82, contracted the virus and succumbed.

The levaya was to be held at 1:00 am at a time of Corona curfew. Only family members could attend the levaya and, of those, some could not go to the kever because they are kohanim. After the hespedim in Shamgar there were only nine men who were available to go to Har HaZeisim including the Chevra Kadisha folks.

Suddenly a distinguished Jew about 70 years old appeared and claimed to be a relative and insisted on going along to the kevura. None of the family members knew who he was and they even told him he was making a mistake. He insisted that he is related, and he climbed into the car of a grandson-in-law. He participated in the kevura and took the same car back. At some point, the grandson-in-law asked him his name and his only answer was “Gantzfried”.

After they dropped him off at Shamgar he vanished. The grandson-in-law asked another relative who this “Gantzfried” relative is and the response of the relative was one of shock. They had no such relative. But “Gantzfried” (Shlomo) is the name of the author of Kitzur Shulchan Aruch – the sefer that Rav Keller studied and obeyed his entire adult life.

The story indicates that by learning Kitzur Shulchan Aruch and keeping it close to him, Rav Keller made a very special friend. Such a friend that he was willing to make a very, very long journey to be a “tzenter” (tenth man) at the kevura. This, at a time when a “tzenter” was very hard to come by.

Now we can say that Rav Keller, ZT”L had an extraordinary relationship with Rav Shlomo Gantzfried, ZT”L and for this he merited an extraordinary visit but I suspect that when it comes to the next world, even a more casual relationship will count. When the Day of Judgement comes (lo aleinu), the “prosecution” is going to call all their witnesses. The defense team is also going to want witnesses, and the more the better.

Those of us who have Torah in our lives, should be able to expect a full gallery of defense witnesses. Aside from the points that we get for the activity of studying Torah, we will also have quite a few advocates. And who will they be?

For starters, we get all the founding fathers.

We all learn Mishnayos. Certainly, we learn Mishnayos as a part of learning gemara and many of us learn Mishnayos by themselves or for the zechus of a niftar. And if we don’t do it now, we certainly did it in day school, cheder and summer camp. And who hasn’t learned Pirkei Avos many times over?

So, in the box seats, we’ll have all the Tanaim. The zugos, Hillel and Shammai, Rabi Eliezer ben Hyrkanus and Rabi Yehoshua, Rabi Akiva and Rabi Yishmael, Rabi Meir, Rabi Yehuda, Rabi Yosi, Rabi Shimon ben Yochai, Rabban Gamliel and Rebbi, Ben Azai, Ben Zoma, Ben Heh-Heh, Ben Bag-Bag, Ben Nannus, the whole lot. They will all be there to tell the Beis Din that you studied their words. Oh, and don’t forget Rav Ovadiah from Bartenura and/or Rav Kehati. They’ll be there, too.

In the next section there will be Rabi Yochanan and Reish Lakish, Rav and Shmuel, Rabba and Rav Yosef, Rav Huna, Rav Nachman, and Rav Chisda, Abaye and Rava, Rav Pappa and all his ten sons, and Ravina and Rav Ashi and hundreds more. If this fellow learned anything close to the way I learn, these Amoraim will dutifully report how many times their opinions were mentioned in his sleep! (I don’t mean at night.)

Now come the grandstands. And who will be sitting in the front row at the 50-yard line?

Well, from our early years we start to learn Chumash and the primary teacher of Chumash is Rabban Shel Israel – Rashi! And after Chumash, we learn gemara and there he is again – Rashi. Pasuk after pasuk and daf after daf, Rashi is the first authority we consult. Do you think he doesn’t appreciate it? Do you think he is going to just sit by and watch you (or me) get pummeled in the Beis Din Shel Maala?

Of course not. He is going to speak up. “This fellow learned this amount of Chumash and these many blatt of gemara and he always checked out what I had to say. I will not allow him to get a bad rap!”

If we learn Chumash with Ramban or other meforshim, they will all be there to put in a good word. For those of us who are “marbeh sidra” with Targum, there is no question we will meet Unkelos the Ger.

If we learn gemara with Tosefos, well, here comes Rabenu Tam and the Rivam, R”i, Ritzba, Rashbam along with plenty others who are not so common. If you learn b’iyun and learn Rishonim – Rif, Rosh, Ran, Rabenu Yona, Nemukei Yosef, Ramban, Rashba, Ritva, Tosefos Rid, Meiri…they’ll all be there. If you consulted them frequently, they will yell louder but even if you only looked them up once or twice, they will take their turn on the stand.

Do you look up the Maharsha, Maharam, Maharshal, Pnei Yehoshuah and the like? Check out a Ketzos and Nesivos? Birkas Shmuel, Chazon Ish, Kovetz Shiurim, Rav Shimon Shkop? Did you do it 20 years ago in Yeshiva? It won’t be forgotten.

Learn Rambam and Shulchan Aruch? With the Rema (of course)? Check out the Shach, Taz Magen Avraham? No? Do you ever learn Mishna Berura? So, right there you have the Mechaber, Rema and the Chofetz Chaim not to mention all of the authorities that the Mishna Berura quotes!

These are just the big players. There are certainly scores of Rishonim and Achronim and Poskim that we only learn on occasion or when we hear a shiur. We didn’t even know who they were when we heard their chiddushim but they’ll all be there in your corner.

How about if you learn Daf Yomi? I suppose we can expect an appearance from HRHG Meir Shapiro ZT”L. The Chofetz Chaim stood up for him. We can throw in all the ArtScroll editors and the entire Schottenstein family!

It may get a bit crowded up there!

To summarize, learning Shas and poskim or someone’s sefer and listening to their shiurim will certainly put these great people on your LifeBook “friend” list. But this is not where the real “money” is. It’s not where you score the biggest points.

It’s what you pass on to other folks.

It’s one thing to sit and learn. It’s another thing to get up and speak.

כל האומר דבר בשם אומרו, מביא גאולה לעולם.

When you say over Torah thoughts and chiddushim from other people in their name, you help out the entire world. Even better, you make a very close friend.

Some of us don’t have much time, patience or a “head” for learning. But it’s not so hard to look up a “vertel” in a Chumash sefer and say it over at the Shabbos table. One time it will be a Kli Yakar or an Ohr HaChaim. Next time it will be a Chizkuni or Alshich. A Meshech Chochma here and a Kol Eliyahu there. A random piece from Ma’ayana Shel Torah, a Netziv or Slutzker Rav. The Chassidim can quote Sfas Emes and Noam Elimelech and Shem M’Shmuel. Something from the Rav in your shul, a shiur you just heard, something you saw on Torah Anytime, something from those zillions of leaflets that are distributed in the shul. Things in the name of forgotten Rabbis that immigrated to America in the early 1900s and something you heard from your elter zeide or great uncle.

At a Shabbos or Yom Tov table, at a bar-mitzva, bris, sheva brachos. Or even if you write blogs and put them there. Over a lifetime, it sure adds up.

And, when it counts, they will all be there. Every single one of them. This one will say that “One time, 38 years ago, this fellow quoted a vordt I printed in my sefer…he’s not getting a bad judgement.” You won’t have any idea who he is or any recollection of when and what you said, but he won’t let it be forgotten. Of course, many of them will be able to say, “Lots of times he quoted me…” and some may even be able to say, “He used to quote my vertlach all the time…”. He can be your “Gantzfried”.

These people may be from the more recent generations. Perhaps they are not Hillel and Shammai and Abaye and Rava, but their testimony is going to be the most beneficial of all.

Why?

Because you didn’t only learn what they had to say, but you taught it, as well. You moved it on to other people. You spread it around. You gave their chiddushim life and longevity. You “reminded” HKBH about what they wrote. You raised their neshamos (assuming they are already on the other side). They will be more than happy to return the favor.

The more of these people you make friends with, the more they will fill up the Met After-Life Stadium and take the choicest seats. There won’t be much room left for anyone who is coming on the prosecution’s side. And whoever does show up will be shown to the back row of the upper balcony.

So, if you have money in this world, use it to make friends. The right kind of friends. And use it to help other people make these kinds of friends. Of course, even without money, you can still make a lot of friends. And these are not simple friends. They are friends in high places. And, it doesn’t pay to waste any time.

דמיו אינם עוזרים וימיו אינם חוזרים

Don’t be as foolish as the Riddler. Woe is to he who makes money and does not make friends.

ולא עוד, אלא שבשעת פטירתו של אדם אין מלוין לו לאדם לא כסף ולא זהב ולא אבנים טובות ומרגליות, אלא תורה ומעשים טובים בלבד, שנאמר (משלי ו כב): "בהתהלכך תנחה אותך בשכבך תשמור עליך והקיצות היא תשיחך":

"בהתהלכך תנחה אתך" – בעולם הזה;

"בשכבך תשמור עליך" – בקבר;

"והקיצות היא תשיחך" – לעולם הבא.

וכן כתוב בספר תהילים, על ידי דוד מלך ישראל: (תהלים קיט עב): "טוב לי תורת פיך מאלפי זהב וכסף".

תשובה ומעשים טובים כתריס בפני הפורעניות

Taryag Mitzvos - Part 4: The Final Word…of G-d

Note to email recipients - I have noticed that sometimes the Hebrew text gets scrambled in the email version, mostly on moblie phones. This is due to inconsistencies in HTML rendering. If this occurs, you can see the proper text at the main blog site HERE.

Welcome to the final installment of the Taryag Mitzvos series. If you have not seen the earlier installments, they can be found HERE, HERE and HERE.

Thus far, we have studied the passage in masechet Makkos with the pirush of the Maharsha to understand that the foundation of all of the mitzvos is a single commandment, Emunah (or Yichud Hashem), which is itself comprised of two complementary components, Anochi and Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. Thereupon we noted that this theme is reflected in certain specific mitzvos and, likewise, in the structure of human society (male and female).

We also said that it is represented in the term Hashem (YKVK) Elokenu-Hashem Echad, then contracted to Hashem (YKVK)-Echad, then we briefly mentioned it is represented in YK-VK and finally in the Yud and Heh of Y-H.

Firstly, I want to elaborate a little more on the idea I rushed through in the previous post – the four-letter shem YKVK where I said that the Y-H represents Anochi (the positive) and V-H represents Lo Yihiyeh Lecha (the negative).  To be a bit more precise, the name Y-H is associated with Bracha and the name V-H is associated with Kellala. How so?

The concept that the name Y-H is a reference to Bracha is fairly obvious based on how often Dovid Hamelech uses this name in praise to Hashem such as:

י-הברכי נפשי את השם, הללו-

And, as the concluding words of sefer Tehillim:

כל הנשמה תהלל י-ה, הללו-י-ה!

The name Y-H is worthy of praise.

Although the name V-H is also worthy of praise, it represents the midas haDin and the “dark side”. This comes from a Midrash in Vayikra Rabba 35:1:

ר' חייא בשם רבי יוחנן אמר חשבתי ברכות וחשבתי קללות. חשבתי ברכות מאלף עד תי"ו. וחשבתי קללות מן וא"ו ועד ה"א ולא עוד אלא שהן הפוכות

Rabi Chiya said in the name of Rabi Yochanan: "I calculated blessings and I calculated curses. I calculated blessings from Aleph to Tav. And I calculated curses from Vav to Heh. And not only this, but they are reversed (Vav before the Heh)."

The meaning of this Midrash is that the blessing part of Parshat Bechukosai begins with ם בחוקתי תלכוא– starts with an Aleph. It ends ואולך אתכם קוממיות  – ends with a Tav. This tells us that the Bracha is complete and all-encompassing from Aleph to Tav.

However, the Kelala part starts as follows: ואם לא תשמעו לי – starts with a Vav. It ends הבהר סיני ביד מש – it ends with the letter Heh. So the Kelala begins with Vav and ends with Heh (V-H). If we leave it this way, it goes around the entire aleph-bet. But, if we want to, we can reverse it so it only has space between Heh and Vav to take effect. Not much space at all – so not much Kelala.

This is also represented by the pasukim in Parshat Re’eh:

ראה אנכי נתן לפניכם היום ברכה וקללה. את הברכה אשר תשמעו... והקללה, אם לא תשמעו...

Bracha from Aleph to Tav (A-Z) and Kelala from Vav to Heh.

So the Y-H part of the name represents the Bracha that we get if we keep our faith in Hashem and fulfill the Mitzvos Aseh – Anochi Hashem.

The V-H part represents the Kelala that we may, chas v’shalom, get if we lose faith in Hashem and fall to idolatry and transgress all of the Mitzvos Lo Taaseh – Lo Yihiyeh Lecha.

Let us review the newly expanded list of Anochi/LoYihiyeh impersonators:

Emunah – Yichud Hashem
Anochi Hashem	Lo Yihiyeh Lecha
Positive mitzvos	Negative mitzvos
Aseh Tov	Sur MeRah
Hashem E-loheinu	Hashem Echad
Hashem	Echad
T’chelet	White
Zachor	Shamor
Weekday	Shabbat
Yud-Heh	Vav-heh
Bracha (Har Gerizim)	Kelala (Har Eval)
Yud	Heh
Man (ish)	Woman (isha)
(Acquiring) Olam Haba	(Preserving) Olam HaZeh

What is the chareidi Jews supposed to make of all this?

Want my opinion? (Don’t answer!) I think the lesson is that it applies to everything. I mean absolutely everything!

In the eyes – and heart – of a chareidi, every single activity or conscious inactivity can be characterized as a fulfillment of Anochi or a transgression of Lo Yihiyeh. This is not restricted to what is listed among the 248 positive mitzvos and the 365 negative mitzvos, it applies to anything that a Jew does or refrains from doing. If the activity serves to display loyalty to HKBH and to bring the individual closer to fulfilling his ultimate purpose, he is fulfilling Anochi. As we saw in Part I, any complete unmitigated fulfillment of Anochi is an Admit One ticket to Hashem’s world. If the activity is not one of loyalty, it is ipso facto one of disloyalty that serves to distance the individual from Hashem, thus, a transgression of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. It is an invitation to be shunned by HKBH and left to the forces of keri (chance).

Thus, HKBH says to us: Im b’chukotai teileichu – If you are to walk within my statutes, if you fulfill Anochi, then…And I will walk in your midst, and I will be for you for [a] G-d.

This is one of G‑d’s utterances for us all to hear. But He is not finished, He has a second utterance: V’im b’chukotai timaasu – And if in my statutes you will display loathing; and if your souls will repulse my judgments; to desist from performing all of my mitzvos for you to nullify my covenant.

What commandment did we learn is G-d’s version of all of my mitzvos?

That’s right, it’s Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. Only, to be a bit scarier, according to the Maharsha, any individual mitzvah, or even action, can be a transgression of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. Hence, to Hashem, that single transgression or undesirable activity can be deemed as not performing all of my mitzvos. Then what?

...I will likewise walk with you in happenstance (keri) and I will also smite you sevenfold in accordance to your sins.

Well, what do you know? We have come full circle to the credo of the chareidim, One Above and Seven Below.

The sincere chareidi takes all this very much to heart. Everything he does is either a fulfillment of Anochi or a transgression of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha.  This means that when a Jew eats, he is either fulfilling Anochi or transgressing Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. The distinction is based, not only on what he eats, but on where, when, how, and why he is eating it. Any of these prepositions can account for the distinction between fulfilling Anochi or transgressing Lo Yihiyeh Lecha; but he is doing one or the other, never is he doing neither.

The same applies to what comes out of the mouth. It is not only what he says but where, when, how, and why he says it. Both work and play must be either a fulfillment of Anochi or a transgression of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. There is no middle ground. Here again the factors are what he is doing together with where, when, how, and why. Every time he sleeps, every time he cohabitates, again, either Anochi or Lo Yihiyeh - one or the other.  And, yet again, every time a coin or bill comes out of his pocket – or goes into it.

This idea is liable to make someone a wee bit anxious (חרד לדבר השם), don’t you think?

That is why chareidim are chareidi.

Are we done, yet? Just about. I have one final correlation (heard from HRHG Rav Asher Weiss, Shlita).

Every chareidi Jew is taught from his youth that his actions throughout his life must engender one trait: ונקדשתי בתוך בני ישראל (And I will be sanctified among the Children of Israel – Vayikra 22:32). This is the great mitzvah of Kiddush Hashem. In general, it means that every Jew is a representative of the Creator of the universe and his commitment to embodying this role must be so resolute that he must guard the honor of Hashem’s great Name with his very life. This mitzvah also comes with a complementary counterpart: ולא תחללו את שם קדשי (You shall not desecrate My Holy Name). This is commonly referred to as Chillul Hashem. Any action that might besmirch the honor of G‑d’s name must be avoided at all costs, even under total duress. No price is too high.

In the initial description, this obligation is only enforced in specific extreme circumstances. One need only forfeit his life to refrain from transgressing the three cardinal sins of murder, idolatry (the literal Lo Yihiyeh Lecha), and immorality. At a second level, we are taught that during a time of heretical decrees one must forfeit his life to refrain from transgressing any law or even an established custom such as to alter the Jewish mode of dress. All of the particulars of these obligations are enumerated by Rambam in Hilchot Yesodei Torah 5:1-9. After composing nine articles of law that describe what, where, when, and how of the Jew’s obligation to offer the ultimate sacrifice (as well as when it is forbidden), Rambam adds a catch-all article (5:10):

Any person who willfully and without duress transgresses on any one of all the mitzvos that are stated in the Torah with a haughty disposition to provoke [G‑d], this is a desecration of His Name (mechalel et Hashem)… And, similarly, anyone who abstains from a transgression or who performs a [single] mitzvah not for any [personal] reason at all, not for fear, or for awe, or for the quest for [personal] honor, but rather, only for the honor of the Creator, Blessed is He, … this is one who is sanctifying the Name [of G‑d].

This assertion of Rambam seems to parallel the assertion he made in Pirush Mishnayos in Makkos. Any one mitzvah, when executed impeccably, is a complete manifestation of Yichud Hashem and carries the status of a Kiddush Hashem and ensures the individual of his share of Olam Habah. It is as if he performed all of the mitzvos of the Torah. Conversely, any single transgression is a strain of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. When it occurs due to carelessness or craving, it is viewed as a lost opportunity that can be rectified with teshuva. However, if it is performed wantonly and without duress, with the knowledge of its severity, it is a full-fledged commission of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha and a desecration of Hashem’s Name, a chillul Hashem. It is as if the individual has transgressed the entire Torah. A willful chillul Hashem cannot be fully atoned for in this world.

So now, once again, let us review the final cut of the parallel concepts to Anochi and Lo Yihiyeh Lecha:

Emunah – Yichud Hashem
Anochi Hashem	Lo Yihiyeh Lecha
Positive mitzvos	Negative mitzvos
Aseh Tov	Sur MeRah
Hashem E-loheinu	Hashem Echad
Hashem	Echad
T’chelet	White
Zachor	Shamor
Weekday	Shabbat
Yud-Heh	Vav-heh
Bracha (Har Gerizim)	Kelala (Har Eval)
Yud	Heh
Man (ish)	Woman (isha)
(Acquiring) Olam Haba	(Preserving) Olam HaZeh
Im B’Chukotai Teleichu	V’Im B’Chukotai Timaasu
V’ Nikdashti (Kiddush Hashem)	V’Lo TiChalilu (Chillul Hashem)

What a list!

In the Introductory chapter of One Above and Seven Below, I opened with the following question:

Hear the word of G-d, those who are anxious (chareidim) toward his word…(Yeshaya 66:5).

We asked: What should the chareidim hear? What is the word of G-d?

We now have a possible answer to this question. In true Jewish style, let us answer the question with a question:

How often has G-d ever spoken to all of us?

Just once.

And what did He say?

He said Anochi and Lo Yihiyeh Lecha.

וארשתיך לי באמונה - וידעת את השם

Taryag Mitzvos – Part 3: How Goodly are your Tents

Welcome back for Part 3 of Taryag Mitzvos. Let us briefly review the previous parts.

In Part 1 we discussed that from the perspective of HKBH there is only one primary mitzvah and this is the mitzvah of Emunah (or Yichud Hashem) – to believe in Him. Of course, one can only profess to believe in an Entity if there are alternatives. As such, the mitzva has to have a negative side which is not to believe in any possible alternative.

These are the two primary mitzvos of Anochi Hashem Elokecha and Lo Yihiyeh Lecha elohim Acherim.

All the rest of the positive mitzvos are manifestations of Anochi Hashem and all the rest of the negative mitzvos are manifestations of Lo Yihiyeh Lecha.

In Part 2 we discussed that these two basic elements are represented in the words of Krias Shema: Hashem Elokenu (Anochi Hashem) and Hashem Echad (Lo Yihiyeh Lecha). We went further to say that even just the two words, Hashem Echad, can represent the two elements. Hashem is to believe in Hashem (Anochi) and Echad is to believe only in Hashem (Lo Yihiyeh Lecha). We went on to say that these two elements are represented both in the techeiles and white of the tzitzis and in the Zachor and Shamor of Shabbos.

We can now review the list of positive/negative characters:

Emunah – Yichud Hashem
Anochi Hashem	Lo Yihiyeh Lecha
Positive mitzvos	Negative mitzvos
Aseh Tov	Sur MeRah
Hashem E-loheinu	Hashem Echad
Hashem	Echad
Techeilet	White
Zachor	Shamor
Weekday	Shabbos

Can we add to this list? (Please, no!)

Well, call me cruel (I’ve heard worse), but I am not dismissing the audience just yet.

Thus far we have extracted our two elements (Anochi and Lo Yihiyeh Lecha) from the expression Hashem Elokenu-Hashem Echad and then claimed we can extract these elements just from the phrase Hashem Echad. In this stage, we will suggest that perhaps we can extract the two elements merely from Hashem (i.e., Y-H-V-H). This means that the first half of the shem, Y-H, will represent Anochi and the second half, V-H, will represent Lo Yihiyeh Lecha.

I will only very briefly elaborate on this idea by saying that the term “KaH” (Y-H) represents Bracha which is the positive aspect and comes from doing positive mitzvos and V-H represents Kelala which is the negative aspect and comes from transgressing negative mitzvos. This is more relevant to the upcoming final segment (Part 4) so I will cut it short now and explain it in more detail in Part 4. I am only mentioning it as a stepping-stone to the next step and this is – you guessed it – to extract the two elements merely from the first half of the shem, i.e., the two letters Yud and Heh.

It’s time to get a bit personal. Here goes:

In Part 1, we analyzed the statement of Rabbi Chananya ben Akashya (Makkos 23b) that G‑d wished to confer merit upon the Jewish people and, accordingly, He loaded us up with all kinds of virtue-heavy mitzvos and an inexhaustible program of Torah study and, as such, we are never lacking for scoring opportunities. We may not help but notice that this system seems to bypass a significant portion of the population (possibly the majority): those of the female persuasion.

Cherchez la femme!

Evidently, women have a very meager connection to the positive mitzvos. Indeed, there are but three positive mitzvos that are designated specifically for women (Challah, Nidah, and Neros) and two forms of obligatory korbanos. They are required to partake in matzo and marror on Pesach, kiddush on Friday nights, havdalah, birkat hamazon and mezuzah. (The issue of tefillah is a bit complicated.) They are also obligated in the Rabbinical mitzvos of megillah, Chanuka lights, four cups of wine on Pesach, and brachos. After these, the pickings are slim since women are exempt from many positive mitzvos and from Torah study, and are removed, although not really exempt, from many mitzvos that involve commerce, agriculture and warfare since they do not normally engage in these things.

Clearly, Rabbi Chananya ben Akashya’s uplifting homily does not endow the women with the full range of benefits. Could it be, as some feminists assert, that G-d is interested in a discriminatory system of virtue in an effort to bar women from Olam Habah?

I believe that most of us would consider such a notion patently ridiculous. Moreover, this assertion can hold true only if one believes that men and women are two distinct competing species of human-kind who manage to cohabitate when the conditions for such happen to be favorable. Furthermore, such an opinion relies on the assumption that G-d ‘Himself’ can be characterized as male in a biological sense. (See Shmos 15:3 and Rashi.)

Ironically, these (mis)conceptions are promoted mostly by those who consider themselves as liberal and egalitarian. Remember the old bumper sticker: “When G-d created man, She was only kidding!”?

The “chauvinistic” chareidim believe otherwise.

To review the question, I am asking that if, like Rabi Chananya ben Akashya, the purpose of such an extensive list of mitzvos is to give us maximal opportunity to merit Olam Habah, why are women “short-changed” and denied a large share of this opportunity? (Note – I am not asking, as the gemara in Berachos 17a asks, how do women merit Olam Habah if they have so few obligations? - but rather, why is it that they were not given as much opportunity as were the men?)

Numerous rabbinical scholars explain that men were created to civilize this world by engaging in industry, production, commerce, mastering the sciences, and, when necessary, warfare. To this end, it was necessary for Hashem to imbue man with fierce and passionate drives to motivate him to reach his full potential. These drives generally fall into three categories of lust: lust for wealth (kinah ­- envy), lust for physical pleasure (taavah - craving), and lust for glory and fame (kavod - honor).

Although these drives cause man to succeed in life, they are simultaneously tremendous obstacles for self-discipline and for forging a path to HKBH. To compensate for this shortcoming, Hashem gave us [men] a full spectrum of “channels” to Him in the hope that every man will find at least one that can suit him.

Conversely, women were not meant to be the instigators of all the above achievements and, therefore, there was no need for Hashem to instill in women these lustful drives at the same scale as men. As such, their conduit to G-d is not laden with obstacles to the same degree; hence, they have no need for such a full range of mitzvos.

While this explanation seems to adequately explain why it is not necessary that women should be as burdened as the men, it still falls somewhat short of explaining why they are held back from performing many of the mitzvos and getting reward. Of course, based on the response of the gemara in Berachos that I (parenthetically) alluded to earlier - that women merit Gan Eden by means of supporting, encouraging and enabling their menfolk to study and perform mitzvos - it follows that women are actually not excluded from any mitzvos, but rather, can be active participants in a supporting role. Still this avenue entails being fully dependent on the achievements of the men who, to be fair, do not always get the job done; and so I ask, why is it that women do not have their own access to these channels?

Perhaps, the rudiments of the Maharsha and the trend of our discussion can satisfy this question, as well.

Many readers may be familiar with the following discourse since it is a very popular generic “vordt” that is frequently presented at sheva berachos celebrations:

The gemara in Sota 17a states:

Man (Ish - איש) and Woman (Isha - אשה) - if they are worthy, G-d is with them; if they are unworthy, a fire (אש) consumes them.

Rashi explains that the Hebrew spelling of the word ish (man) is Aleph-Yud-Shin. The Hebrew spelling of the word isha (woman) is Aleph-Shin-Heh. They are essentially the same root, except that the man has a Yud and the woman has a Heh. The Hebrew letters Yud and Heh comprise an abbreviated version of Hashem’s name (KaH).

When man and woman are worthy, i.e., they conduct their relationship according to the Will of Hashem, they sustain G‑d’s presence between them and the letters Yud and Heh of Hashem’s name that He contributes to their essence is preserved and, in turn, preserves them.

If they are unworthy, He withdraws His presence and thereby withdraws the Yud that is His contribution to man and the Heh that is His contribution to woman. In both cases, the resulting essence are the Hebrew letters Aleph and Shin which spell out the Hebrew word esh אש (fire) to indicate that their relationship will transform into a fire of rage and consume them.

Typically, the homily ends here and the speaker goes on to hurriedly wrap up his speech and convey his blessings to the newlywed couple before the non-dairy frozen dessert completely melts into oblivion. But, for us chareidim, it may be a tad bit too soon to relax and enjoy the dessert. The discourse continues (I heard this from Rav Elya Svei, ZT”L at a sheva brachos):

Why exactly is it that, of the two special divine letters, the man is bequeathed the Yud and the woman is bequeathed the Heh?

For this we must study a passage in masechet Menachot 29b:

Rabbi Yehuda HaNasi asked of Rabbi Ami: What is the meaning of the pasuk (Yeshaya 26:4), בטחו בה' עדי עד כי בי-ה ה' צור עולמים  

Have trust in G‑d for all Eternity for with Ya-H (the abbreviated name of G‑d that consists of a Yud and a Heh) G‑d has formed worlds…?

This concurs with the drasha of Rabbi Yehuda bar Rav Iloyi who expounded, “These are the two worlds that the Holy One created – Olam Hazeh and Olam Haba – one of which was created with the letter Heh (ה) and the other was created with the letter Yud (י); but I still cannot determine if the World to Come was created with a Yud and the present world was created with a Heh or vice-versa. When we find the pasuk (Breishis 2:4), These are the products of the heavens and the earth (i.e., this world) in the course of their creation (b’hibaraam) … and we expound “Do not read the word as b’hibaraam (in the course of their creation), but rather b’Heh baraam (with the letter Heh they were created)” I now understand that it is the present world that was created with the Heh and, consequently, the World to Come is created with the Yud.

And why was the present world created with a Heh? Because this world resembles a three-sided structure (i.e., a structure with a roof but with less than four walls that is not fully enclosed) that whoever wishes to exit may do so…and why is the World to Come created with a Yud? To symbolize that the righteous who inhabit it are few in number (as the letter Yud is the smallest of all Hebrew letters)…

Thus far, we understand that the letter Yud is symbolic of the Olam Habah and that the letter Heh is symbolic of Olam Hazeh. Now, let us note a passage in masechet Bava Metzia 59a:

And Rav said: All those who follow the counsel of their wives will eventually fall into Gehinnom as is written…Said Rav Pappa to Abaye: Is there not a popular adage, “If your wife is petite, [it is advisable to] bend over to whisper to her [to seek her opinion]”? This is not contradictory! This statement [of Rav] is regarding [outside] worldly matters, this statement [of Rav Pappa] is regarding household matters. Another version: This statement [of Rav] is regarding heavenly matters, this statement [of Rav Pappa] is regarding present-world matters.

If we consider the second version of the gemara’s solution, we can perceive a deeper reason why HKBH created mankind in two genders, male and female. (Of course, this is necessary for biological reasons, but the question is why such divergent personalities?)

Man (note - in this segment, I am being gender neutral referring to both male and female combined with the term “man” – this includes pronouns such as “he” and “him” or “his” and it holds true for the next six paragraphs) must simultaneously manage his status in two worlds – Olam Hazeh and Olam Haba.

His (and her) mission in Olam Hazeh is to maintain and enhance [quality of] life for himself and others. He does not need to actively acquire life or a life sustaining world as they are both already here. His job is to preserve this world and the life it supports. In short, his mission in regard to this world is a passive one of shemira (guarding or preserving) as is signified by the white of the tzitzis. In this world, Lo Yihiyeh dominates – do not do what is destructive to your existence.

Additionally, he (and she) has a second mission – to make use of this Olam Hazeh and his allotment of life to create and build an afterlife, an Olam Haba. This World to Come must be created and life therein must be earned. This is the zechira and assiya that is signified by the techeiles in the tzitzis that indicates that there is something active that must be done. This is dominated by Anochi – I am G-d who extricated you from the Land of Egypt to be your G-d. Come close to Me and prolong (immortalize) your existence.

The gemara in Berachos 61a states that initially the first Man was a man and woman fused together. One reason for this is that the Torah tells us that Man was created in G‑d’s image. This can be understood in a physical sense that just as Hashem is One and is neither distinctly male nor female but a (The) complete indivisible all-encompassing Being, the original Man was also a single complete physical being.

However, Man cannot be G‑d and Man cannot be One (capital "O"), Man is merely “one”. He who is One (HKBH) can think all thoughts, utter all words, hear all sounds, and be all places as One. He who is “one” (Man) can think one thought, utter one word, hear one sound, and be in only one place at any one time. Likewise, he can only focus his efforts on one goal at any given time. Yet, he has two missions or, as is the trend of this series, one complementary two-fold mission.

This two-fold mission is a bit too heavy for “one” Man to handle. G-d understands this and proclaims, “It is not good for Man to be by himself, I shall make for him a complement (ezer) who will be opposite him (kenegdo).”

Evidently, a two-fused-into-one being can only exist in G‑d’s realm where Anochi and Lo Yihiyeh are One and Zachor and Shamor are One (and, I suppose, white and techeiles are One) but not in this world where everything is merely “one”. Consequently, as with everything else we discussed, G‑d has to break down the intact entity into two sub-units and so He does. He makes “one” Man into two people: male and female – ish and isha.

Although they both have the same attributes of humans – intelligence, power of speech, free will, emotions, and consciously guided activities – they are designated for two distinct, yet complementary, purposes.

To the woman, the isha אש[ה], Hashem contributes the Heh, the Lo Yihiyeh Lecha. This is to signify that her primary function is to manage the shamor, the preservation of the integrity of this world. To the man, the ish א[י]ש, He contributes the Yud, the Anochi. This is to signify that his primary purpose is to enact the zachor and assiya, to create and acquire a share of the Eternal world.

True, both man and woman are cautioned to observe all the negative mitzvos. Nevertheless, man’s job is to distance himself from material involvement as if every day is Yom Kippur. Ideally, he should strive to live a life like Rabi Shimon bar Yochai who spent 13 years in a cave with no clothes, no gadgets, no women, and the barest minimum of food. In such a setting, negative commandments are a moot point as there is barely any opportunity to sin. He should focus on Torah study and the active performance of positive mitzvos. (Of course, he needs to get married.)

The woman has no such stipulation to engulf herself in “holiness”. She is entitled to and, as I am saying, expected to, spend the bulk of her time facing the challenges of the material world. Indeed, just as the woman is distanced, i.e., “out of proximity”, from the positive mitzvos, the man is meant to be distanced (out of proximity) from the negative mitzvos.

Thus we note that the complementary relationship between man and woman cannot be simply stated that he is the scholar (and/or breadwinner) and that she is the homemaker (and/or breadwinner), whereupon they combine their talents and mix and match their responsibilities to form a viable team. Rather, they are, each one, specifically groomed to specialize in a different phase of our two-phased objective. Hence, the gemara states that if they are worthy, they will complement each other (ezer); but if they are unworthy, they will instead become opponents (kenegdo).

Just as an army has ground forces and air forces and sea forces that do not oppose each other, but rather, complement each other, and that is what enables the army to succeed, so too, a man/woman union has Olam Hazeh forces and Olam Haba forces that are meant to complement each other and not oppose each other. It is only in this way that they can succeed as an integrated whole. It is obvious that the ground forces have no need for planes and the air forces have no need for tanks.

Woman, in her role as the complement (ezer) of Man, has no need for tzitzis, tefillin, minyanim and public Torah reading, sukka and lulav, etc., as they in no way assist her to accomplish her part of the joint mission. If a woman feels incomplete without assuming an active role in these activities, it is most likely because she is not successfully involved in a complementary relationship with her male counterpart (or does not have one). 

In such a situation, where Man does not live up to the obligations that are signified by the Yud and/or Woman does not preserve the integrity of the Heh, G‑d withdraws His deposit, the Yud and Heh, and goes Home. The couple has failed at their joint mission of creating and earning a World to Come. The alternative world is a world of fire.