The Eldest Oyster and the New Shidduch Crisis

 

I went to visit the Eldest Oyster once again to see how he’s getting along. I know that he is trying to rejuvenate the now depleted oyster population, so I asked him how it is coming along?

The eldest Oyster looked at me,

      But never a word he said:

The eldest Oyster winked his eye,

      And shook his heavy head —

Meaning to say he did not choose

      To have the shidduch redt.

This was not very encouraging, but I immediately understood why.

Last April, I wrote a post about the controversy over supplying pictures for shidduch purposes. I opened that post with some cynical humor as follows:

Corona has set the world of shidduchim upside down. Restrictions and lockdowns have added new challenges to an already challenging sugya. The way things are going, every shidduch resume will begin with the following information:

Name: Mimi Klein

DOB: 01/15/2000

Height: 5’ 4”

Green Status: Pro-Vax/ Anti-Vax

Hashem yerachem!

Now, one can say that I was being somewhat prophetic. The truth is that there was no need for prophecy. It was merely רואה את הנולד. I projected that this is bound to happen and it seems to me that I was right.

The first thing that came my way was a link somebody sent me to one of those conservative watchdog sites called The Covid World. The post was on January 4. I don’t want to link to the exact post because of the illustrative photos of improperly dressed young women, but here is the headline:

Vaccinated Women Are Now Lying About Their Vax Status As More Men See Them As Infertility Risk

This is followed by a blurb which states:

Everyone was told that those who did not get the jab would regret it, but now it seems that the opposite is true. In a startling reversal, women who have had the COVID vaccine are being shunned in the dating scene by potential partners due to issues with possible birth defects and infertility.

And the lead line of the post reads:

Women in New York have started lying about their vaccination status because of widespread perception among men that they are infertile or will bear children with birth defects.

I understood this to be a growing phenomenon in the “open” non-Jewish world, but it didn’t really occur to me to what extent this is happening in our circles. But the following day when I saw one of my chavrusas and mentioned to him what’s going on in the non-Jewish dating scene in the US he told me, “It’s happening here, too.”

Boruch Hashem, just over the past six months, I merited to marry off the only two of my marriageable children who are female. The males are still roosting around (plus some younger females). When these two young ladies were being redt, nobody asked us if they are vaccinated (they are not). Hence, I had no reason to be conscious of this phenomenon despite my “projection” from last April. (Oops - I just remembered that I did ask both boys when I met them personally. One is and one isn't. But I didn't ask the shadchan and nobody asked me about the girls)

Still, it doesn’t come as any surprise.

As soon as this new experimental vaccine was unfurled, the detractors and doomsayers were warning about potential fertility, pregnancy and other gynecological issues. The supporters brushed them off. “Trust the science!”.

My position was, “Let’s wait and see.” (I.e., don't judge science from the "scientists".)

Since that time there have been many disturbing reports. Not only about women’s issues but all types of adverse effects and medical issues. Though a few may have been “debunked”, there are just too many of them and too much firsthand testimonies from “casualties” (and next of kin) to dismiss them.

We hear about 86 stillbirths over 12 months in Waterloo, Ontario. The reporters insist that every single mother was vaccinated. But they reassured us that this is only happening in places that actually keep and store the data. Not anywhere where they don’t.

The Ontario Minister of Health denied this statistic but had no other verified statistics to offer. The “Fact Checkers” (the usual suspects) also denied these allegations and tried to offer other statistics but it’s just “he says-she says”. Despite all this reassurance, an accompanying VAERS report seemed to show 2,893 3,306 fetal deaths subsequent to taking the Covid-19 “vaccination” as of Dec. 10, 2021 January 14, 2022.

I don’t know who to believe but I know who not to trust. (1) I cannot trust anybody with an agenda. (2) I cannot trust anybody with substantial financial stakes. (3) I cannot trust anybody who is immune from liability or prosecution. And (4) I cannot trust a product that hasn’t been tested (and passed those tests).

It’s not just me. These principles of who can and cannot be trusted can be found in Shulchan Aruch Yoreh Deah 155 and Choshen Mishpat 37. The Halachos are based on just plain common sense. As important as daas Torah is, it is very hard to rely on Rabbanim who are oblivious to what is going on and who tell us to overlook what is said in Shulchan Aruch. The question of whether a medication is safe or effective is a matter of fact – either it is or it isn’t – and not a matter of Halacha. One cannot paskin that a medical product or procedure is safe.

Well, who can we trust? I think we can trust people like Dr. Robert Malone who doesn’t have an agenda, doesn’t have substantial financial stakes, is not immune from prosecution or liability and knows what’s going on.

As part of a three-hourinterview that has taken the open-minded by storm, he reported an audience he had in front of a panel of about 15 “hassidic” (I doubt they were all Chassidic) poskim who sought his knowledge about women’s issues.

Dr. Malone told us that there are two parts of the body which are especially vulnerable to the invasive effects of the mRNA vaccines: the bone marrow and the ovaries. He claims that the panel of poskim concluded that the vaccine should be avoided for younger people.

You can see the segment here:

 

Note - The embedded video will most likely not be displayed in the email version of this post. To see it, see my post online.

Of course, many people may be in denial about how badly women have been affected, but let’s just say that 15 noted poskim have better things to do than convene for a medical lecture from a non-Jewish doctor unless something serious is going on.

On a more reassuring note, I went so far as to contact my local neighborhood family posek and asked hm point blank if he has been seeing serious side effects from this vaccine. I told him that since I have boys in shidduchim, I really need to know the score. He told me that he has seen some staining issues but not much more.

Though this may be a bit reassuring, two things need to be taken into consideration: (1) Even staining issues can be enough to impair the shalom bayis of a couple. But more concerning is: (2) the possibility that if a woman is having a very hard time, there won’t be much use in consulting a posek. And this applies even more to unmarried women. So this may not be giving us an accurate picture.

Of course, we do have a slew of upsetting testimonials and a close female relative of mine volunteers for a gemach that provides the “forbidden” alternative medicine here in Eretz Israel. She has a few extreme tales to tell about women losing a lot on account of this vaccine.

This is one of the most upsetting stories that I have seen (although I couldn't get 100% verification that she was vaccinated, the odds are very likely.):

New mother collapses and dies after giving birth to a stillborn | News 7 (israelnationalnews.com)      

All told, it is not surprising to discover that vaccination status is starting to become a new standard. And I have to admit, my Eli (23) was embarking on a new “parsha” about two weeks ago. I advised him to check whether the girl is vaccinated and, if so, if she has any irregularities. He told me that he only plans to do it if it starts to get serious. Right now, he is not using it for screening.

Alright.

It doesn’t end with this. All of the above is discussing an inquiry for medical concerns which, as far as we know, only affects the female side of the market. I have been told that in the US and Canada, where vax pressure is higher (especially Canada), this question is being asked to Shadchanim for other additional concerns which amount to:

• Just plain political concerns - to determine the mentality and “political” leanings of the prospective shidduch for compatibility reasons.
  
  
• Practical concerns - If this shidduch works, will there be problems with upholding the current COVID restrictions and making a proper wedding that everyone can attend?

I have heard that the latter is a top issue if one of the sides is Canadian. Evidently, unvaxxed people have a lot of trouble trying to cross the borders.

These last two issues throw the whole system into complete turmoil because these last two issues apply to the boys as much as they apply to the girls. What makes it even more distressing is that if a boy is asking the question because of concerns for women’s health concerns, undoubtably, the answer he wants to hear is “Not vaxxed.”

And if a girl is vaxxed, she can’t change that.

Conversely, if the question is asked because of COVID restriction concerns, the answer that the other side wants is an unequivocal “Yes - and up to date.” Of course, this can be easily remedied although I find it quite disturbing that young people play with this risky vaccine for reasons other than they think it is the best thing to do for their health. Very sadly, this explanation is what I hear most commonly from people I ask.

Finally, if the question is being asked to feel out the mentality of the other side, there is no telling what answer the inquisitor wants to hear!

When we put all this together, we can suspect that perhaps the powers that are implementing these draconian mandates throughout the world have this catastrophe in mind:

גזירתם (בנט\ביידין\טרודאו\פאוצ'י\גייטס) קשה משל פייזר, שפייזר לא גזר אלא על הנקבות והם גוזרים על הנקבות ועל הזכרים.

These are times that try men's soul[mate]s.

עת צרה היא ליעקב - וממנה יושע!