Author’s
note
– If you are not up to date on this topic, please see my previous posts. May 4,
2022 click HERE. July 29, 2022 click HERE.
I
have come to discuss the Four Horsemen of the Kol Koreh Apocalypse, but first, let’s
summarize in a nutshell what we learned in the previous posts.
911 vs. Reporting to the Police
We
learned that calling 911 is not the same as filing a complaint at the Police or
Child Protective Services.
911
is a dispatch service for emergency responders. When one calls 911, they are
not interested in the names of the victims or perpetrators. (Of course, they
are interested in the name of the caller for follow-up purposes, but this is
incidental.) They are only interested in two things: What is happening and
where is it happening.
Nothing else.
Not
only is it imperative to call 911 when a dangerous event is in progress, but it
doesn’t even approach the parsha of mesira. As a matter of course, the caller
is not identifying the perpetrator or the victim. Certainly, the caller could
say that this person is being assaulted by their spouse or parent or sibling or
such, but the identities of either side is not important at this point. The
purpose is to contain the emergency. Nobody is being turned in for prosecution
or punishment. The caller, if it isn’t the actual victim, may need to make a
statement afterward and possibly testify much later on, but they are not enmeshing
themselves into this event.
Let’s
refer to something like this as a “911 situation”.
Calling
911 is done from your location and usually does not take up more than two
minutes of your time.
Filing
a police report or other social services is the polar opposite. One files a police
report when there is no event currently in progress. The events already
occurred. There is no “crime scene” to investigate. The entire purpose of
filing a complaint is to initiate legal proceedings against another person. The
complainant, who is usually the victim or guardian of the victim (in truth, the
complainant must only be either the victim, the guardian, or an eyewitness –
only one of those three has the authority to press charges), must be identified
and have their details attached to the case. Of course, the complainee must
also be positively named and identified.
As
such, the two sides will be inextricably bound to each other throughout the prosecution
process and probably beyond.
Mesira - When it Applies and When it Doesn't
In
addition, we know that reporting a Jewish person to non-Jewish authorities for
legal proceedings is the classic definition of mesira. This is one of the
gravest transgressions a person can commit, and it is an offshoot of malshinus
which includes Lashon Hara and all that goes with it.
There
may be a few other transgressions that come with it such as לא תענה ברעיך עד שקר if any details aren’t true and לא יקום עד אחד באיש if there is no one else to corroborate the
complaint. These may be not as grave.
Now,
we all know that malshinus may be permissible under certain conditions.
Moreover, when the Shulchan Aruch discusses the gravity of mesira in Ch”M
388, it tells us two exceptions (three, actually, but only two apply to
criminal activity). These would be:
- A
rodef – assault in progress or a 911 situation
- Meitzar ess harabim – Public menace who is expected to continue doing harm if not apprehended.
The
second of these exceptions would address the cases of diehard "professional" offenders who are married with families and, as such, have no excuse to be
promiscuous, who have been at least partially exposed, and who still look outside to
prey on vulnerable people. They know they are being watched and are
unrepentant.
In
my opinion, the cases of Yehuda Meshi-Zahav, Chaim Walder, and a not-as-famous
offender in England who I will call Teddy meet this definition. All of whom were
middle aged people with families who were accused of fooling around. There were
earlier accusations and complaints to Rabbanim against them, and they still continued
their shenanigans.
Malka Leifer does not meet this definition for at least three reasons. I will discuss
this at length as one of the Four Horsemen.
Meitzar
ess harabim,
in this context, means a clear and present danger even if it is
not a 911 situation – an event in progress. This explains why it is certainly
permissible to file a police report or CPS report in order to obtain a
legitimate order of protection (which usually requires a court appearance or at
least a court order, by the way). However, to file a police report just for the
purpose of administering “justice”, which inevitably means secular non-Jewish
justice, has no authorization in the laws of mesira.
Practical Issues
Aside
from the Halachic hazards of filing a police report, there are quite a few
practical ones. One, as I wrote earlier, is that it will generate an inextricable bond
between the victim and the alleged offender for no short amount of time, if not
forever. Secondly, I noted in my previous post that the very action of filing a
police report is tedious and harrowing.
I
wrote not to expect it to take less than three hours “total” of your time. This is what I meant. Let's suppose that the closest police station is usually between a 15 minute to
half hour drive from your house. Of course, it could be sometimes less and sometimes more. I heard
that in Lakewood, it can take a half hour to drive a half mile. So figure in
driving time to and from.
Once
you get there, depending on how many folks are on duty and how busy they are, and
in full knowledge that your complaint is not a tremendous emergency to them, they
may keep you waiting for hours doing nothing. Worse, they may tell you to come
back another time. How about that?
When
they finally talk to you, you will need to fill out forms and sign your name
and you will be grilled for details. It may take ten minutes, it may take two
hours. And, who has to press charges?
The
victim. Especially if the victim is over 14. If there is a living
and healthy victim, they must get a statement from the victim or they have no
case. If the victim is really a little child, a parent or guardian can file the
complaint but if the parent is not an eyewitness and cannot give any precise
details (especially about when did an offense occur), there will
probably also be no grounds for a case. Even if the parent or guardian files a
complaint, as long as the victim is old enough to talk, they will be
questioned. They have to be. This may mean the police telling a parent, “Come
in next Tuesday at 3:00 and be sure to bring the kid."
All told, to file a complaint is typically a multi-hour family outing. Pack a
lunch. And if a young lady wants to go in on by herself, she’ll need nerves of
steel or she’ll fall apart.
Summary
Once
we know all of this, it is difficult to see what toelles there is in
this broad scoped Kol Koreh. It only makes sense to be applicable Halachically
in a situation of rodef – a 911 situation, or meitzar ess harabim –
for protection. In a practical sense, it is hardly applicable at all.
Don’t
blame me. These are the messages that we were getting from such notable poskim
as Rabbi Doniel Neustadt and Rabbi G.
Rabbi
Neustadt originally refused to sign this Kol Koreh because it only makes sense
for 911 situations, and this is seldom the case. This is why he said, “It is
not happening right now.” He meant that, most often, it is not a 911 situation.
I
will venture a guess that the reason he changed his mind in 2022, is in the
wake of the Walder and Meshi-Zahav debacles, and he felt it was worthwhile to
endorse it for the meitzar ess harabim cases. I object because, if it
was focused primarily on these situations, the wording should need to reflect
that. It is way too broad-scoped.
It
is also the message we got from Rabbi G. who is also a noted posek of the same
caliber (and is approximately the same age) as Rav Neustadt. Rabbi G.’s
statement indicates that he did not sign it because it is not practically applicable.
“Try getting an emotionally injured young Jewish lady to speak to the goyish
police.”
To
summarize it all, the issue of molestation is being presented as a widespread social
pandemic. Out of desperation, some of our leaders are looking for a miracle "vaccine".
This Kol Koreh is deceptively trying to tell us that to “promptly notify the secular
law enforcement” is always the best course of action. It’s our “vaccine”.
Alas,
as I wrote about a recent medical pandemic, for a vaccine to be recommended, it
is imperative to pass these three tests:
- Is
it effective?
- Is
it safe?
- Is
it necessary? – i.e., are there no alternative courses of treatment that may be
simpler, less invasive, less expensive and just as effective (or even more
effective)?
With
regard to the medical pandemic, all the research that I have done has led me to
conclude that the available vaccines fail miserably in all three tests. At
best, each individual needs to consult with their medical caregiver to determine
if the benefits outweigh the risks in his or her case.
Regarding
this current social pandemic, I must likewise say that I have conducted a lot
of research and I have published my findings. Here, as well, many, many
situations do not stand up to the test of being safe (in the best interest of
the alleged victim), effective, or necessary. Actually, from what professionals
such as R’ Zvi Gluck from Amudim and R’ Yehoshua Berman of Maaneh have told us,
I believe it is the majority of cases.
The Four Horsemen
To
illustrate where this “vaccine” can do more harm than good, I compiled a group
of scenarios that I am calling the Four Horsemen of the Kol Koreh Apocalypse.
They are:
- The
case of Amudim’s PSA video, “Shattered”.
- The
case of Harav Ratzon Arussi’s media ambush
- The
case of Malka Leifer
- The
case of the Mother in Pain (Jewish Press)
Due
to the unforeseen lengthiness of this introduction, I don’t think it’s a good
idea to squeeze all four cases into this post. I will just discuss the first
one now and leave the others for a future post (maybe more than one).
Horseman
1 - Shattered (Amudim)
Amudim
looks to be an upstanding and dedicated Jewish organization that specializes in crisis intervention and case management. From their website, it looks like they deal with all types
of traumatic situations including domestic abuse, substance abuse, other
addictions, depression, eating disorders, self-harm, mental health issues, and
of course, sexual abuse. It is gratifying to see this comprehensive list – as
opposed to some other organizations that are only interested in sexual abuse –
because, so often, many of these issues overlap and it requires a multi-faceted
team to be able to see the entire picture. Clearly, their goal is to help
individual people deal with their problems. They are not interested in
“changing the world” and saving it from wicked people. They seem to understand
that “wicked” people are created by the same G-d who created the righteous ones
– for whatever reasons. We need to coexist with them.
In
the course of their outstanding work, they have produced a number of short PSA
videos. They are all very professional and very powerful. The purpose of their
videos is to encourage people in crisis to get help and to reach out to them.
This is so the people can get help for themselves. They do not outwardly encourage
anybody to “get involved” and to “take care” of evil-doers and to go to the
police.
One
of their keynote PSA videos, and the one that focuses on victims of sexual
abuse is Shattered.
Shattered
portrays what seems like a normal well-adjusted frum family. Two loving parents
a bunch of daughters and a single son who looks to be about 15 or 16 years old.
The
false tranquility of the home is represented by a sumptuous Shabbos table. As
the video progresses, we notice that the teenage brother is getting much too
close to his little sister. The father seems to be totally oblivious, but the
mother is acutely aware of what is going on. Part of her may be in denial but
the other part isn’t. She loves all her children and doesn’t want to throw the
family into turmoil – i.e., disturb the Shabbos table - so she is totally at a loss
of what to do. In the meantime, all she does is sweep it all under the rug.
Kind of hoping that it will all just go away. But the rug is right under the
Shabbos table and the pile gets higher and higher until the Shabbos table tips
over. All the nice dishes and glasses slide on to the floor and shatter.
Interestingly,
in this scenario, we see not only the victim but the perpetrator. And the
perpetrator is a young person who is very close to the victim. He is also very
close to the parents who are supposed to protect the victim. The father is
oblivious and the mother is caught in a maternal bind. She loves the victim and
she loves the perpetrator. She doesn’t know how to protect the victim, whom she
loves dearly, without hurting the perpetrator, whom she loves just as dearly. She
feels torn and powerless.
Clearly,
the last thing she would want is to report the perpetrator to law enforcement.
This would not solve her problem. It would not even solve the victim’s problem,
for although it may put an end to the molestation, it would still put her in
the epicenter of a family tragedy which will afflict her just the same. Also,
“civil authorities” may, on their own, decide to involve Child Protective Services
who may remove from the home not only the perpetrator, but also the victim.
Thus, the mother could potentially lose two children. And the victim will be
traumatized even more.
Amudim
is certainly not broadcasting a message is to call “civil authorities” as Reb
Dovid J. Nyer, HRHG Shmuel Feurst, Rav Shraga Feivel Zimmerman and numerous
others are erroneously urging us to do. Their message is to call Amudim.
This
ought to be rather obvious and the only kaf zechus I can give to Rav Feurst and
the other Rabbanim is that they would say, “Of course, we weren’t talking about
this kind of a case. We were talking about a normal case of an unrelated
molester.”
Aside
from the fact that this Kol Koreh makes no such distinctions, it is worthwhile
to watch the Shattered video to the very, very end. After the curtain falls (as
does the Shabbos table), at about 4:25, the video tells us some facts. “93% of
child sexual abuse victims know their abuser. Most often the abuser is someone
who is close to the victim, and someone the victim trusts.”
Yes,
these can also include unrelated people like a teacher, principle or a
counselor, but the implication is that even these are the minority of the 93%.
Moreover, Rabbi Zvi Gluck said so expressly on his Halacha Headlines interview.
These
cases are the “normal”. And if the aim of the Kol Koreh is to reduce sexual
abuse but is not targeting the majority of “normal” cases, what is it going to
accomplish? And if it aims to include even these kinds of cases, it is utterly
outrageous and counterproductive.
The
point is that this Kol Koreh is not applicable to abuse cases within a nuclear
family. And this is a great portion if not even the majority of cases (and I
still have 3 more horsemen to go). But, the question looms: Is it ever not an
inter-family case? Like, aren’t we all related?
There
is a bit of a mashal (fable) in this clip. Molesters are not islands. As Dr. Michael Salamon says in his upcoming documentary The Hidden Truth, “Molesters are in
the same house, molesters exist everywhere…” They are part of us. They are our
neighbors in the community and they are family. Sometimes in the figurative
Biblical sense and sometimes very literally.
Do
you want to turn in your own flesh and blood, your mother or father,
grandparent, son or daughter, brother or sister, to the secular police? Is this
going to solve your issues?
Yes,
indeed, there may be very extreme situations where there is no other alternative.
But would anybody do such a thing if there is any other alternative?
And
if this person is not directly related to you, isn’t he or she still some kind
of a distant blood relative? (My sister just showed me how Geni displayed how her
husband is related to Olivia Newton-John who just passed away). Shouldn’t we be
just as torn?
I
think this is how any Jew with a collective sense of ahavas Yisroel should feel.
I am utterly horrified how many Jews, even “chareidi” ones, don’t feel this
way.
Moreover,
when this matter comes to the Rav of the community who is responsible for the welfare
of everyone in the community, how is he supposed to react? If he is type of
person he should be, he will feel a lot like the mother in this video clip.
Fact
is, I wrote about this in my Estardition post as far back as Sept. 2008. That’s
almost 14 years ago. Here is what I wrote then:
The key problem is that "doing something" all too often comes at a price. And for anything that has a price, people need to do cost/benefit analyses. Exposing and punishing the offender almost always comes with collateral damage. The prime subjects are the perpetrator’s immediate family who may be enduring tremendous turmoil even without public exposure and they certainly do not need, nor deserve any more. Moreover, there are the victims themselves who stand to lose from public exposure. And in the ugliest cases, the offenders and the victims are related to each other. The Rabbanim are responsible for everyone. In many cases, for every person pressuring the Rav to “take action’ there are 10 people pressing the Rav to keep quiet.
Before
I close on this case, I want to bring up a point that I have previously said
again and again and again.
We
are dealing with a teenage offender and a teenage offender is really a “special
kinda guy”.
There
are two reasons for this.
(1)
I have repeatedly written that my research indicates that a fair number of
molesters – perhaps the majority – are victims of molestation themselves. This
is something that always needs to be investigated and taken into consideration.
(2)
The second is the statement that I quoted from Rabbi Yehoshua Berman in my oft-quoted 3 Ps post of January 2017. Here is what I wrote:
I must refer to a startling statistic stated by Rav Yehoshuah Berman of Maaneh Institute in his Headlines interview with Reb Dovid Lichtenstein Nov. 19, 2016 (47:15). He stated as an unconfirmed statistic that more than 60% of sexual abusers are minors with about 50% being aged 14 or younger!
I always suspected something along these lines (not as drastic) but this is the first time I heard it said from the mouth of a real askan. What it says is that most sexual abusers of young children are not pedophiles nor are they even sex addicts or dysfunctional. These are youngsters who are first coming to terms with their own sexuality or may have been freshly introduced to p0rnography and have no kosher outlets to deal with their new-found lusts. This is called “acting out” and from a legal standpoint it is called “sexual impropriety”. What it says is that, for many of them, it is only a matter of maturity and the opportunity for a healthy sexual relationship to straighten them out. It means they may actually grow out of their abusiveness and are highly curable.
Clearly,
we must neutralize the threat, but we must take all measures to do it without ruining
this young person’s future which may be as productive as anyone else’s in the
long run.
This
has special significance in a case where, for instance, the perpetrator is not
the brother of the victim - part of one nuclear family - but a neighbor. Perhaps,
the victim’s best friend’s older brother. Here, there is no mother of both who
would be torn on what to do. Most likely the mother of the victim will be screaming for blood and would love to rush to the police.
Such a step is not likely to end well, yet this dreadful Kol Koreh is telling her she is “Torah obligated” to do just
that!
The result will be the case of the "Mother in Pain” which I have slated as Horseman number 4. Maybe even two Mothers in Pain.
Are
all these 200 174 Rabbanim and Reb Dovid j. Nyer prepared to take
responsibility for that?
Stay tuned.
2 comments:
Shkoyach!!
You raise some important points about the potential negative effects of reporting to the police.
However, it is a shame that you have to start with the mesira thing, which is a complete irrelevance in the modern world (where the abuser is not going to be put to death by the authorities). If reporting to the police is the best practical solution (which clearly is the case some of the time), this should be done. As is usually the case, halacha follows the same practicality I would expect non-Jews to follow.
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