Double Standards – Part 2: Having Been There

We now move on to the last feedback I received. This piece is what I really wanted to cover in this mini-series because it gives me the opportunity to restate the issues of this case and to clarify some die-hard misconceptions, especially in regard to the opinions of today’s major poskim.

This one came to me as a direct private email. Normally, it is not ethical (Cheirem of Rabeinu Gershom) to publicize an email that is sent personally without permission especially if it identifies the sender. It seems to be okay to do it using fair use philosophy if one does not identify the sender. This email is a total exception because the sender wrote expressly in the email that it is to be made “known to the public” (his words). But I think it is still better not to identify the sender so I will just call him, “Reb Yid”. 

Reb Yid lives in an Anglo-Chareidi community here in Eretz Yisrael. His email account has a profile picture showing him with a nice full beard and black kipa and he speaks from a Torah oriented background. Yet his letter was one of the most bitter displays of arrogance, ignorance and hostility that I have yet received in this episode.

So much so that I did a bit of searching to see if I could find out more about him. And, sure enough, I discovered what I expected - Reb Yid has “been there”. This is an explanation for his belligerence but it is not an excuse. 

Once again, we will encounter a blatant double standard; but this one is on a different point and is much more disturbing.

Again, before I analyze his letter I will print it in full (dark red) so the reader can see the whole picture and take in his initial impressions. I will then reprint it in bite-size pieces, with some added emphasis on key words and phrases, and insert my comments (this time in indigo). 

The subject line of the letter gave me a hint that this was not fan mail. It read: Disgusting Individual

Full of optimism, I assumed that he must be referring to Justice Jack Rush. I couldn’t believe he was referring to anybody Jewish. Who else could it possibly be?

However, after noting Menachem’s comment in my previous post and the similar terminology, I had a slight suspicion my optimism may be misplaced. You be the judge.

Reb Yid writes:

As usual you have not surprised us with your disgusting, inhumane and cruel treatment of these suffering victims. I so fervently pray to G-d and beg Him to bless our people that no one like you should ever plague us again. It makes me very sad to come across a Jewish person as depraved as yourself. 

Thank G- d this vicious woman is in prison right now where she belongs and not on the streets murdering more of our beautiful children. 

Yes, the school is to blame for sending her to Israel and not to jail as they should have, where she should be spending the rest of her life. 

They should be offering a 100% apology of guilt, just as the court case in Australia proved that the school was 100% guilty. 

The Gedolim, whom you claim to follow, have made it absolutely crystal clear that there are absolutely no issues of mesira or Lashon Hora involved in these cases where human life vis at risk. There is a video on you tube with Rav Chaim Kanievsky allowing these cases to be given over to the police.

On the contrary there is an absolute obligation not to stand by the blood of your fellow and every possible effort must be undertaken to get these vicious and dangerous criminals locked away forever. 

You clearly have zero understanding of how horrific this form of abuse is and how totally debilitating it is. It’s a miracle such victims can ever function again and actually be able to speak about what they went through. To expect them to have been able to speak up when they were younger is nothing other than being totally delusional and out of touch with reality, which you do clearly are. 

Children do not just make up horrific stories such as these. Why anyone would side with the evil criminal over them is totally beyond any rational human comprehension. 

I have very serious doubts and suspicions of what it is you are hiding from, avoiding and trying to cover up, Hashem Yeracheim. Perhaps the time has come to open an investigation into your past and history.

Thank G-d so much work is being done to educate the public about the horrific dangers that exist in almost every single Shul,school, community and neighbour where we live today. 

Once again if you are totally ignorant of what I am talking about (which you certainly seem to have proven yourself to be- beyond any shadow of a doubt), I very seriously and sincerely encourage and implore you to be in contact with organizations such as JCW, Amudim, Ohel etc. They will open up your blind eyes and deaf and dumb ears to the HUNDREDS of real life cases they are dealing with on a DAILY basis. This is not mere theory or overly creative imagination we are dealing with. They receive hundreds of calls for help every day and their files and caseworkers can very easily prove this to anyone open enough to get educated on this subject. 

Since you continue to be so adamant in your vicious treatment of these victims and protection for this criminal (and by extension many hundreds and thousands of others like her), I am unfortunately compelled to make this email response known to the public through whatever means I can, to reach as many people as possible. It is absolutely imperative that the masses be be made aware of what a loyal, dedicated and devoted slave of the Satan you are. Remaining silent in the face of such evil such as yourself only serves to support, encourage and increase evil in the world. 

We live at a time when every possible means needs to be employed to educate the public and protect our innocent children of the dangers of these psychological and spiritual murderers. 

Even the worst reshaim in our history have done teshuva and I certainly do believe that that opportunity still exists for you. 

It is with terrible sadness and disappointment that I sign off, with great anticipation for the final redemption,

Yours sincerely 

Wow, did this fellow put me in my place! 

For the next week I could think of nothing but doing teshuva and waiting for the final redemption. But after my teshuva was complete and the final redemption did not materialize, I reread his letter. These are my thoughts:

As usual you have not surprised us with your disgusting, inhumane and cruel treatment of these suffering victims. I so fervently pray to G-d and beg Him to bless our people that no one like you should ever plague us again. It makes me very sad to come across a Jewish person as depraved as yourself.

I can’t put my finger on it but something gives me a sense that just maybe this person doesn’t like me. Ya think? Seriously, when a person opens a letter this way, he is telling me that he is speaking from his kishkes and not from his head. This basically destroys his credibility for the rest of his letter.

Oh, and about these suffering victims – Dassi’s Facebook page is currently announcing a fun-filled R-&-R weekend to Ventnor, Phillip Island while Malka Leifer is incarcerated in Neve Tirtza without conviction and שלא כדין.

Thank G- d this vicious woman is in prison right now where she belongs and not on the streets murdering more of our beautiful children. 

Well, he certainly has her number. She is vicious and has murdered beautiful children. I wondered, how does he know all this for a fact?

And he is thanking G-d that a Jew is in prison. She belongs there. G-d must be thrilled that the Sapper sisters and Reb Yid and hundreds of other Jews saw to it that this vicious murderer of children is in prison. G-d is so happy she is in prison. It must certainly make G-d’s day!

I just want to insert here that, unlike Dassi Erlich who is suffering terribly on Phillip Island (a resort), Mrs. Leifer actually does have children that she needs to look after, but are forcibly separated from her. Likewise there is a husband who is entitled to a wife. But she was forcibly taken from him without having stood trial for anything and no conviction. And by whom?

Dassi Erlich. 

Back to Reb Yid's birkas hoda'ah, something about this doesn’t seem entirely accurate. Let’s check this out. Is this woman “vicious”? Not a single news report, nor even Dassi’s narratives on Headlines or in the papers indicated that she is “vicious”. They "loved her" and came to her.

Did she murder anybody? Strangely all of her “victims” call themselves “survivors” (and take vacations to Phillip Island). “Children”? Well teenagers may not be legal adults, but the real definition of a child is one who has not yet reached puberty.

Now, if you are one of my critics, you are screaming at me that I am nitpicking on terminology. But terminology is a two way street. I wrote about it in this post about The Subjective Adjective.

When people such as Reb Yid and so many others have a need to employ superlative adjectives and metaphors to color the picture, it is just that. They need to color the picture as dark as they can. To these folks, every sexual miscreant is the worst kind - even if they are not. 

Therefore, I really need to be assertive. Yes, according to the still unproven allegations there was sexual misbehavior which is unacceptable in our circles, but it still wasn’t “vicious” and it wasn’t “murderous” and these victims were not “children”. I have never written that our villain is not a miscreant (though I truly do not know); just that she is not as extreme a miscreant as you, Reb Yid, and the lynch-mob are arbitrarily making her out to be.

I am truly forced to play down the “children” card because Reb Yid (and others) play it up way beyond reason. He does it right here in this email in just another few paragraphs. We will see it when we get there.

Yes, the school is to blame for sending her to Israel and not to jail as they should have, where she should be spending the rest of her life. 

Reb Yid is a kateigor, a prosecutor. And he is an avenging angel. He is a proud card-carrying member of the lynch-mob. He believes in vengeance. He also believes in punishing and hurting Jewish “miscreants” as an end in itself and thinks that people, even Jewish ones, should be in jail – even non-Jewish jails. Further, like most prosecutors, he wants to prosecute them even though he has no idea if they are really guilty and, if so, of what.

In terms of the prudence of sending anybody to prison, I wrote a complete post (see HERE) to dispel this notion.

Reb Yid also seems to be a hypocrite. Yes, it’s double standard time! To appreciate his hypocrisy, we need to skip to a later line in this very email. Reb Yid writes: “Even the worst reshaim in our history have done teshuva and I certainly do believe that that opportunity still exists for you.” (He is talking to me.)

The “worst reshaim in our history”?? Well, Reb Yid, why doesn’t this opportunity exist for Mrs. Leifer? Didn't you say that even the worst reshaim in our history have done teshuva?

The obvious answer is that our avenging angel has it in for Mrs. Leifer, despite that he has no idea about what happened. This is because, to Reb Yid, a molester, even an unproven one, does not even rank on the level of the worst reshaim. Reb Yid cannot allow her to do teshuva. He cares so much for klal Yisrael!

This is the mindset of one who has “been there”. There can be no teshuva for a molester. If there were, they may be forced to forgive them, and they couldn’t possibly do such a thing. 

But my question is (and I previously asked it HERE): Don’t you think it’s possible that Mrs. Leifer has “been there”, too???

I will return to this point when we reach this hypocritical statement in its place. In any case, Reb Yid, I see your behavior as “disgusting, inhumane and cruel treatment” – sorry to say.

They should be offering a 100% apology of guilt, just as the court case in Australia proved that the school was 100% guilty. 

Reb Yid shows no mercy. Also, no connection to Yiddishkeit.  I write post after post preaching to the world that a Jew has to act like one and I bring all the sources in Halacha that teach us Jewish standards of blame and proof. I even did so in this latest post. But Reb Yid knows better. From what? Chazal? Rambam and Shulchan Aruch? A teshuva from a renowned posek? 

No, of course not. His “proof” is from a court case in Australia! (Which, by the way, was held in absentia of the accused.)

This is the intellectual immaturity I referred to in my previous post. 

I painstakingly explain, citing Halachic sources, why the school is not responsible. Reb Yid’s mission, as a mature debater, is to show me where I am wrong using the same standards. When he talks to me like the insecure parent who says, “Because I said so” or because Justice Jack Rush said so, he has regressed to kindergarten.

The Gedolim, whom you claim to follow, 

It’s true, by the way, but where did I ever make this claim?

have made it absolutely crystal clear that there are absolutely no issues of mesira or Lashon Hora involved in these cases where human life (v)is at risk.

In a case where human life is truly at risk, we don’t need the Gedolim to tell us anything. That said, human life is not at risk in all cases. Predominately the one I am discussing. 

Also, there are no Gedolim that said there are absolutely no issues. Let’s just follow Rav Elyashiv, ZT”L. The only things he made crystal clear are these two:

·         One cannot raise a hand against a suspected molester unless he is certain (crystal clear) that this molester is indeed a molester. (Click HERE)

·         Every case must be vetted out by a qualified Torah authority. (Click HERE)

For good measure, let’s throw in a statement from Rav Dovid Cohen, Shlita (3:30): “We don’t have the right b’zman hazeh to be me’anesh (punish) someone…(4:16) we have to not punish, we are not allowed to punish. But we have to be matzil hatzibur…”

So here we have Rav Dovid Cohen, a true hardliner (and I vehemently disagree with some other aspects of his interview) who says exactly what I have been saying throughout this topic: We must distinguish between protecting people from harm and punishing people for the sake of punishment. This is the foundation of my post about the 3 Ps.

So here we have Gedolim stating crystal clear that there absolutely are issues with mesira and Lashon Hara, at the least where it is not crystal clear that human life is at risk.

There is a video on you tube with Rav Chaim Kanievsky allowing these cases to be given over to the police

This is the second time Reb Yid is trying to sell me this 59 second video. You can view it HERE. 

Basically, this is more of the same. I don’t know if Reb Yid understands Yiddish, but in the final words of the conversation, Rav Chaim, Shlita, explains why they can go to the local police (in the US, it seems) – “min megt matzil zein andereh…” – we can save other people. So here we see that Rav Chaim (who seems very reluctant, by the way) is paskening that we can report an active threat to the local authorities in order to save people.

Wonderful. I wrote all this in my keynote post (I doubt Reb Yid read it through). The funny thing is that Rav Chaim was not asked, nor did he give any hetteirim to be moiser someone to any jurisdiction wherein he (or she) is definitely not an active threat nor to extradite anybody out of Eretz Yisrael. Owing that this is what is unique about the case I am covering (for this reason) I fail to see how Rav Chaim’s psak relates to our topic. 

Reb Yid, can you explain it to me, please?  

On the contrary there is an absolute obligation not to stand by the blood of your fellow and every possible effort must be undertaken to get these vicious and dangerous criminals locked away forever. 

First you need to establish beyond a shadow of a doubt that they are - and continue to be - vicious and dangerous criminals. Remember Rav Elyashiv, ZT”L.

You clearly have zero understanding of how horrific this form of abuse is and how totally debilitating it is. It’s a miracle such victims can ever function again and actually be able to speak about what they went through. To expect them to have been able to speak up when they were younger is nothing other than being totally delusional and out of touch with reality, which you (do) clearly are. 

This is where Reb Yid totally overdoes it on the “child” card. Please! Dassi Erlich was 16 years old when this business started. Nichole Meyer was 17. It seems very probable that in both cases the alleged misbehavior crossed into the age of consent by secular standards. (I expect the defense to make a field day out of this if it comes to that.)

My opinion is that one who believes that 16-20 year old young women cannot be expected to speak up, is even more delusional and out of touch with reality. Our Torah expects the naarah hameurasah to speak up at the tender age of 12½! Perhaps people were more mature in those days but for now, 16-18 ought to do it.

That said, Reb Yid, a very poor reader, totally lost sight of my post. I actually had no issues about the girls not speaking up at the “tender” young age of 16-20. They had their reasons. My issue was that even if for all the great reasons (horrific, debilitating abuse, etc. etc. etc.) they didn’t speak up, the fact is that they didn’t speak up. They have no right to turn around and sue the school for the damage that happened because they were silent.

Children do not just make up horrific stories such as these. 

Children?? Hello-o-o-o! We are talking about the Leifer case. Do you know when this case was first reported? Yes, it was in 2008. Do you know how old Dassi Erlich was in 2008? The answer is 21. Do you know how old Nichole Meyer was in 2008? That’s right, 23. Do you know when these “children” first gave their statement to the Victorian police? 2011. That makes 24 and 26 respectively. Do you know when they told their tall tales to Justice Jack Rush? 2014 – we now are at 27 and 29.Are you trying to tell me that 21+ year old “children” do not make up stories? Are you kidding me?? Do you know what it says in Choshen Mishpat 37:1?? Look it up.

After this rant, I need to say that even for small genuine children, the notion that they don’t make up stories such as these is at least partially a myth. I dispelled this myth in my post about Adulterating the Truth. 

Why anyone would side with the evil criminal over them is totally beyond any rational human comprehension. 

Again we are discussing the Leifer case. In this case, the “them” is prosecuting and harassing the “evil criminal” for no justifiable reason. I have expounded on this at length. This minor distinction is certainly beyond your comprehension. Unfortunately, as I wrote in reference to your opening paragraph, I cannot consider you a rational human. I am not saying you are not human. I am saying you are not rational.

I have very serious doubts and suspicions of what it is you are hiding from, avoiding and trying to cover up, Hashem Yeracheim. Perhaps the time has come to open an investigation into your past and history.

Sorry to disappoint you. Go ahead if you like. Start with the autobiography in my book. Rated PG (for Holocaust stories and a few violent incidents in Eretz Yisrael). Incidentally, this paragraph is the one that tipped me off that you’ve “been there”.

Thank G-d so much work is being done to educate the public about the horrific dangers that exist in almost every single Shul,school, community and neighbour where we live today. 

This is one of the only rational paragraphs in your letter. I am with you on this one.

Once again if you are totally ignorant of what I am talking about (which you certainly seem to have proven yourself to be- beyond any shadow of a doubt), I very seriously and sincerely encourage and implore you to be in contact with organizations such as JCW, Amudim, Ohel etc. They will open up your blind eyes and deaf and dumb ears to the HUNDREDS of real life cases they are dealing with on a DAILY basis. This is not mere theory or overly creative imagination we are dealing with. They receive hundreds of calls for help every day and their files and caseworkers can very easily prove this to anyone open enough to get educated on this subject. 

Back to the rant. Honestly, I cannot figure out what is the point of this entire paragraph. Reb Yid is definitely out of touch with what I wrote in my keynote post about epidemics (first paragraph, check it out.) And he is more out of touch with what Rav Elyashiv wrote that each case must be evaluated individually. Hence, it doesn‘t matter how blind and deaf I am and how many hundreds and thousands of real life cases there are on a DAILY basis. Each case is unique. I am singling out this case for many reasons and my primary point is that it is quite different from the standard hundreds and thousands of cases. So, Reb Yid, what is your point?

Since you continue to be so adamant in your vicious treatment of these victims

I am doing nothing but preaching to these “victims” to stop this chllul Hashem, forget about Mrs. Leifer (though it’s okay to warn people) and get on with your lives. In short, call off the war (and the lynch-mob). Those, such as Reb Yid, who are encouraging them to wage this war and destroy themselves along with Mrs. Leifer are much more adamantly vicious than I am. 

and protection for this criminal (and by extension many hundreds and thousands of others like her),

Again, Reb Yid knows for certain that she is a criminal! He must have ruach hakodesh. I don’t. As far as I am concerned, any Jew who is being prosecuted is worth protecting. Especially when it does not harm the accusers.

I am unfortunately compelled to make this email response known to the public through whatever means I can, to reach as many people as possible.

Did I beat you to it? I’m so sorry. Incidentally, why are you “compelled”? (Just curious.) 

It is absolutely imperative that the masses be (be) made aware of what a loyal, dedicated and devoted slave of the Satan you are.

Let’s review this. I want what is best for ALL Jews. I want to fix whoever is broken. Just like the wise woman who spoke on Headlines (12:30-13:30). Both the “molester” and the “victim” are broken people who need help. I want to help them. This is precisely what I wrote in my post about Judging the Judges.

Reb Yid wants to punish, hurt, damage, prosecute, and extradite with no firsthand knowledge and for nobody’s gain. Only for vengeance. And I am the slave of the Satan?

Remaining silent in the face of such evil such as yourself only serves to support, encourage and increase evil in the world. 

Please see my post about Desperate Measures.

We live at a time when every possible means needs to be employed to educate the public and protect our innocent children of the dangers of these psychological and spiritual murderers. 

Now you are talking. Educating the public and protecting our innocent children is the way to go. No cynicism here. Extraditing, prosecuting and imprisoning the perpetrators is not - except in extreme cases. No cynicism here, as well.

Even the worst reshaim in our history have done teshuva and I certainly do believe that that opportunity still exists for you.

As I wrote earlier, this statement is the epitome of hypocrisy. Reb Yid is very selective as to who is a candidate for teshuva, and by his infinite grace, I qualify. Mrs. Leifer and those who molested him do not.

For the record, I want to be very clear about why I have a sense of compassion for Mrs. Leifer. It is based on three considerations:

1.   Personally, I, along with every single uninvolved member of the asafsuf lynch-mob have no idea if any of these allegations are true at all. I have said that I sense a raglayim l’davar that the allegations are not totally baseless. Nevertheless, what I am certain of is that they have been quite overblown - not the least of which by people such as Reb Yid.

2.   There is plenty of room to believe and even some indication that Mrs. Leifer has also “been there” and may have a “past” of her own. On this premise, even if she did have an episode as a predator, and not a vicious one, it comes from being victimized in the past. Assuming she is no longer an active threat, and once it is certain that she is no longer a threat in Australia, those who seek to lynch and prosecute her are lynching and prosecuting one of their own. The hypocrisy in this is exacerbated by those such as the Sapper sisters that are trying so hard to prove to the world that “victimhood” is a lifelong condition (my father, LOY”T, a Holocaust survivor, taught me otherwise). So how do you justify prosecuting another victim?

3.   As I indicated just now, it looks like her stint as a predator was only temporary. There have been no more complaints about her ever since she was expelled from Australia. There is no question in my mind that she has long regretted whatever misdeeds she has done and would not go back to it again. As far as I am concerned, not only is she perfectly capable of doing teshuva, she has already done so.

None of this compassion hurts the “victims” in any way unless they choose to be hurt by it. This would be a very selfish choice. It is a shame that Reb Yid is not capable of this kind of compassion. He carries his own baggage and has made his peace with the Satan.

Hashem Yeracheim!

Anyway, your statement is very touching but I’ll pass.

It is with terrible sadness and disappointment that I sign off, with great anticipation for the final redemption,

It is with great joy and exuberance to me that you sign off. It’s not the final redemption but it’s a good start.

Yours sincerely 

Likewise.