Perfidy 2023 Interlude – The Eldest Oyster Cracks a Joke

 

I continued talking to the Eldest Oyster and he proceeded to tell me all about Ron vs. Versano. It wasn't long before I realized that he was leading me down a deep rabbit hole. This Hare-raising experience was a lot more than I bargained for, so it has been taking me some time to formulate it into a post. I'm almost there, so I hope to post Part 2 very shortly.

In the meanwhile, he could detect that this conversation about the Israeli legal system was making me depressed. He thought to cheer me up with a joke. And so, he told me the following:

 

A Walrus, a Carpenter, and a Mad Hatter all took a job at a construction company and were working on top of a tall building. Every day at lunchtime, they would sit together on a bare steel girder way above the ground and eat lunch.

 

One sunny day (and this was odd because it was the middle of the night), they sat down to lunch and each one opened their home-packed lunchboxes.

 

First the Walrus opened his lunchbox and pulled out a jar and opened it. He says, “Oyster stew? Again? Every day oyster stew! If I get oyster stew for lunch one more time, by golly, I’m going to jump.”

 

The Carpenter opened his lunchbox and pulled out a slice of bread with a very thick layer of butter. He cries out, “Again a slice of bread where the butter is spread too thick? I get this every day! If one more time I get for lunch sliced bread where the butter’s spread too thick, by golly, I’m going to jump.”

 

The Mad Hatter opened his lunchbox and pulled out the contents. He mutters, “Mushroom flavored tea biscuits…again? I get this every day! If one more time I get for lunch mushroom flavored tea biscuits, by golly, I’m going to jump.”

 

The next day they all sit down to lunch as usual. The Walrus opens his lunchbox and pulls out a jar. Sure enough, it’s oyster stew. The distraught Walrus jumps and that’s the end of him. The Carpenter opens up his lunch box and finds a slice of bread with the butter spread too thick. He also jumps and that’s the end of him. Just then the Mad Hatter opens his lunchbox and finds… mushroom flavored tea biscuits. Sure enough, he also jumps and that’s the end of him.

 

The next day, at the Walrus’ funeral, his wife, beset with grief, is holding her pocket-handkerchief before her streaming eyes. With sobs and tears she blurted out, “Can anyone sympathize? I don’t understand this. It makes no sense. Why didn’t he just tell me that he didn’t want any more oyster stew? I certainly would have made him clam chowder instead.”

 

Meanwhile, at the Carpenter’s funeral, his wife was inconsolable. She wept like anything to see such quantities of dirt by his grave. She exclaimed, “I don’t understand this. It makes no sense. Why did he not just tell me that ‘the butter’s spread too thick’? I would gladly have spread it thinner.”, and she shed a bitter tear.

 

Meanwhile, at the Mad Hatter’s funeral, his wife couldn’t control herself. “I don’t understand this. It makes no sense. He made his own lunch!”

 

He asked me if I liked the joke. I told him, I think I might have heard it before. But I soon came to realize it is more than just a joke. It is a prelude to Ron vs. Versano.

We will examine it Through the Looking Glass very soon (bli neder)…